How can I get my marriage to work?

Hint: It’s Not About Changing Your Mate

Is your marriage on the rocks? Do you often find yourself wondering, “If only she would just be more affectionate” or, “If only he would clean up after himself” or “If only she would take more initiative” then our marriage would work?  

The truth is you have zero power and zero control to change your mate. It’s a losing proposition. 

We often think about all of the things that we would like to change about our mate and how he or she needs to become a different person so they will fit better with us. But trying to change the other person just won’t work. So what can you do to make your marriage work?

You can begin to improve your marriage by doing these three things:

1. Discover God’s design for marriage.  Just like engineers design and build engines, God designed marriage in a very specific way.  To understand how to make your marriage run smoothly you first need to understand the blueprint, or original plan for how it’s supposed to work. And God’s plan is found in His Word.

2. Remember you have hundred percent control over yourself and your attitude.  Marriage is a system made up of two people and God. And in order for the system to change you must be willing to change first. The best way to start is by asking God, “How can I change? What do you want to do in me?” When you begin to do that, the system begins to change and positive things start to happen. 

3. Learn how to communicate effectively and resolve anger. All married couples have arguments and experience conflict from time to time, but how you and your mate communicate through your conflict will determine whether or not you’ll have a strong and healthy marriage. 

And now, here’s the game-changer. Watch or listen the group study called Experiencing God’s Dream for Your Marriage, which teaches you about God’s design for marriage. It also provides helpful tips and tools for navigating through some of the common challenges that most couples face in their marriage.

Remember, your marriage matters more than anything in the world apart from your relationship with God. If you take the time to dig in and do the work, it will pay off!