What does it mean to really love someone?

Love is a Choice

Do you ever wonder what it means to really love someone? We’re bombarded today with movies and videos and romance novels that give us a false image of what it means to love. If you think about it, most secular songs and movies all say the same thing in different ways: love is an ooey-gooey feeling at that moment when two people stare into each other’s eyes and they feel like they’re “in love.” 

But this is not love. It’s called infatuation. Although infatuation is a natural and even beneficial response to attraction, it should never be mistaken for love because it won’t sustain us. Love is more than a feeling. 

Our model for what loving someone should look like is found in God’s Word, which teaches us that true love is commitment. It is about sacrifice and it is also about choice.  

The most loving thing Jesus did for us was when he choose to go the cross to die for our sins. He did this even though He didn’t feel like it. In fact, on the night of his arrest Jesus was terrified and filled with great sorrow at the thought of being crucified. 

He prayed, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine." (Luke 22:42) Jesus didn’t feel like giving himself over to be crucified, but He still chose to go because of his overwhelming love for the Father and for the people of the world. Jesus truly loved.

Now, here’s a game-changer idea. Are you ready to improve your relationship? Ask yourself what are the top two ways that your partner really feels loved. Is it when you perform an act of service, like doing the dishes or running an errand, or is it when you show them affection, or give him or her a gift? Or is it when you give a word of affirmation? If you don’t know, ask your partner to tell you. Next, write those two things down and then choose to do one of them every single for seven days. It’ll rock your world and rock your relationship.