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About this series
Overcoming the Pain of Your Past
Pain. It is part of the human experience, and one of the things that helps us grow to maturity. But for some of us the pain we have experienced feels crippling. Broken promises, dysfunctional families, damaged relationships and rejection keep us from experiencing the abundant life Jesus promised. Sometimes it's a challenge just to get through the day, let alone to extend love and strength to those around us. The Bible, however, offers great hope for pressing on. From the book of Ephesians, learn who you really are and why the pain of your past doesn't have to obscure God's plan for your future.More from this series
When the apostle Paul thinks of this mystery that he’s a steward of, his role of preaching it and bringing it to light, and the ultimate purpose… I mean, can you imagine that it’s just a regular Joe trying to kill people one day, getting knocked down, meeting Jesus, taking seminary in Arabia somewhere, feeling like you were lost and getting humbled over here, getting picked up by Barnabas and saying, “You know what? I think you’re worth something, yeah, I think God’s got a plan,” and then you end up with this little church in Antioch where people are first called Christians, and you’re just praying and fasting with a handful of guys and God says, “Set apart for me! Paul and Barnabas!”
And he goes on this missionary journey and all of a sudden he goes on one, and two, and three different trips, and he ends up in jail, and if we were in jail we would be telling God, “This is unfair and I stepped out and, I’m doing this for you and I don’t understand why you’re treating me like this and…”
And now two thousand years we look back, so we get thirteen books of the New Testament written by who? And where did he write the majority of them? Can I go on record to say I’m glad he was in prison?
Can I go on record to say that the gift of suffering for the sake of the Church and the gospel was to my benefit and yours, and to theirs, and that Paul is giving us a model of why not to be discouraged when injustice happens, and life’s not fair in a fallen world, where there is spiritual opposition, if indeed there is an all-sovereign, all-knowing God whose purposes cannot be thwarted, and He will use suffering as a grace gift in your life, even when people do it with such evil intent, if you don’t bail out on the process.
And in the midst of your suffering He may produce an intimacy with Him that you could have never known, and He may produce a testimony and a conduit of grace through you, that others may have never seen.
See, it’s like he gives us a whole new set of glasses to think about suffering. The apostle Paul’s perspective on suffering, at least from my perspective, is radically different than how my mind ever goes. And I’m glad for Paul, and if I was a Gentile I think we’d be high-fiving one another; I would not be discouraged, that Paul is in prison but it’s okay by me, and it’s okay by Paul, and it’s okay by God.
But, you know what? I got news for you. He didn’t solve my Frank problem. And so what I think we need to do now is say, “Okay, that was God’s very clear truth about unjust suffering, from the apostle Paul to the Ephesians church in the first century.”
Now, what we need to ask is, “What is the timeless application of that truth to us in the twenty-first century, because I’ve just been around you all long enough to know, there are people in this room that are really going through some very, very difficult times that you didn’t cause.
And I don’t know why, I’m not going to presume whatsoever to know why but some of you are sitting here tonight going, “Well, you know what? If you had more time get that microphone out again and we’ll pass it around and I got a Frank story.”
What do we do, as followers of Jesus, because I can tell you this for probably a year and a half I was stuck. I perfunctorily prayed; the joy in my life was gone; I read the Bible because, I was actually so warped in my theology I thought something worse might happen to me if I stopped.
But it was like, I’m serving a God who is capricious and takes your best friend out, the Bible says He’s good, God says He’s loving, He’s not good to me, not loving to my friend. And so I kind of, no pun intended, I’m living with a chip on my shoulder. And some of you get that a little faster than others.
And I think God has something in this passage for those of you to break out of being stuck, about the pain of some unjust suffering.
There are four principles to remember when you’re suffering unjustly. Number one, we are not victims. It’s so easy to get there, isn’t it? “How could this happen to me? This is so unfair. I gave generously and now I’m upside down financially. We were committed, we were in church, we took them to church, we put them in a Christian school and how in the world could my son or daughter go off and do what they did and this is unbelievable.”
Or, “God, we have walked with you and we had this dream together and, we taught not just Sunday school class but we did Jr. High group! For ten years! Even after our kids were gone! And then we finally made it and we saved and we had this dream and then my wife got cancer and she was dead, and now I’m alone. God, where are You? How could You?”
It’s very easy to become a victim. Pull back the lens. Paul, does he say, “I’m a prisoner of Rome?” Does he say, “I’m a prisoner of Nero?” He says, “I’m a prisoner of Christ.” Isn’t that interesting? He said, “I’m in these chains because of Jesus.” It’s not the false accusations of the Judaizers, it’s not the Roman government, it’s not…
He said, “I’m here,” because here’s what Paul knew: God is absolutely sovereign. That means he’s in control. God is good; and God is loving; and God is all wise. And good means He always has your best in mind, sovereign means anything that comes into your life is either decreed or allowed by Him, wise means He brings about the best possible end by the best possible means for the most possible for the longest possible time.
So, if there was an easier, gentler, better way for His will to be worked out in your life you would be experiencing that kinder, gentler way than what you’re getting.
So if He’s all wise, good, sovereign, faithful, and all-powerful and can do whatever, whatever you get in your life and whatever I get in my life, a sovereign God has either allowed or decreed for my good. It’s a faith issue.
At some point I had to decide, “Is God good or capricious?” And when I began to read through… see, I was a little slow so the big part of the book, the Old Testament, I had to read through the New Testament two or three times as a new Christian before I wanted to tackle the big one.
But when I got into the Old Testament, I read Genesis and I’ve always been kind of a numbers person so, you know, Abraham gets so many verses and, you know, Isaac, he didn’t get a whole lot of verses but he’s pretty important. And Joseph gets thirteen chapters. That’s, thirteen chapters, there are only, what, fifty? I mean, do the math. I mean, one guy gets twenty, twenty-five percent of the whole book?
And the story of Joseph is: God chooses a man, He has a purpose for a man, in His sovereign purposes He allows this man to be betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, falsely accused, after falsely accused, forgotten in order to rise to the second most powerful position in all the earth, to save all of the promises and the agenda of God of hundreds of years past, and what would happen in the future.
And what Joseph understood in chapter 50 when his brothers never did quite get it thinking after dad dies he’s probably going to knock us off, sort of the Ingram translation of that whole passage.
And Joseph turns to his brothers and I think in dismay, “You meant it for evil but God meant it for good to bring about this present result to preserve many people alive.”
And here’s what I can tell you, suffering stinks and it’s really hard. But the phrase, as you study Joseph’s life, is this little phrase, “And the Lord was with Joseph.” “And the Lord was with Joseph.” “And the Lord was with Joseph.” And you see this attitude of trust because he keeps helping people.
And, you know, the Bible is pretty honest. When people whine and have a victim mentality, you know, the Bible kind of is pretty clear about when people do bad stuff. Joseph understood that God was in control. Joseph forgave his brothers. Did he have to go through the process of wounds and hurts and betrayal?
Were there nights where he is looking out of the bars and going, “You know, what’s with these guys? I told them what would happen, they forgot me.” Or, “God,” I mean can you imagine this? “I’m a young man with hormones, I’m sexually pure, and this woman is after me and I resist and now I’m in prison for a false accusation of rape? I mean, what a raw deal!
But there is a reason why God gave him thirteen chapters. And it’s why almost every core doctrine is in the book of Genesis, the seeds of it. It’s because He wanted all of us to know that when you walk with God there are going to be times where you get betrayed by people who love you. There are going to be times where you end up in a pit. There are going to be times where you are falsely accused. There are going to be times where you help people and you are forgotten and you’re not rewarded.
And He wants you and me to remember when you have unjust suffering, when you’re a child of God, you may be going through a rough time, but you are not a victim. You’re not a victim. You’re His son, you’re His daughter. “For you have need of endurance,” the writer of Hebrews would say in chapter 10 verse 36, “for once you have done the will of God you might receive what He’s promised.”
And the word “for you have need of endurance,” that word “perseverance” or “endurance,” is hupomeno. “Hupo” means to be under, “meno” means under be stress or pressure.
And what happens, as we’ll see, under stress or pressure and difficulty that is so unfair, what do you do when you’re experiencing that? You either get bitter and mad and close your Bible and whine and become a victim or, in tears, you usually say, “I don’t know where I need to read right now but I think the only place I can really go is the Psalms.”
And you cry your way through the Psalms. And you recognize that other people have been here before and God understands, and the goal is not for your life to turn out someday. All you gotta do is make it to maybe one o’clock today and then after one o’clock today you pray maybe you can make it ‘til dinnertime.
And then the nights are terrible. And that digital clock, you know, it’s 1:11, 2:04, 3:03 and you have those nights. And you put on worship music and you wonder, at times, whether you’ll ever, ever make it through this.
And if you get around a place like this there are some people that have lived longer, and they have “hupomenoed” their way through losses and pain and injustice, and isn’t there a tenderness and a sweetness and a maturity and a love to their life that you’d really like to have. Can I tell you how they got it? It wasn’t because they had everything go right.
The second principle is that until we understand what God is up to in the world we will never understand what He’s up to in our world. See, unconsciously what we have done to the gospel, by and large, is we’ve basically made God our self-help genie and said, “This is my world, this is my agenda, and I want these biblical principles and of course I love you, Jesus,” but the goal is, “make my life work and make it work well! I want to be happy! I want to upwardly mobile, I want to be healthy, want my kids to be great.”
All those desires are fine. But here’s the deal, unconsciously, I’m the center of the universe and God is my servant. What’s wrong with that picture? Everything.
There are a lot of people that are very upset with God because He’s not “fulfilling promises” and they’ve believed and done certain things and…
Guess what? It’s His world. It’s His story. I think you put those together you get “history.” It’s not your story. It’s not my story. You know what the apostle Paul realized? “I’m a murderer. You know what I deserve? I deserve to go to hell is what I deserve. And by the rich mercy of the Savior, He not only forgave me but allowed me to be a steward of the secret that’s been hidden in God before all generations, and I get to be a conduit and I’m going to whine about being in chains and, for this little time knowing that forever and ever and ever I’m going to be with Him?”
See, when you begin to understand what God is up to in the world, then you begin to reinterpret your world. So, what’s God up to in the world? I mean you can jot this down. He’s up to Matthew 28 verses 19 and 20. That’s what He’s up to.
He’s up to lost people being found, He’s up to found people growing to maturity, and He’s up to mature people reproducing their life. That’s what God’s up to, for every single person on the face of the earth.
So, how does this suffering impact the Great Commission? How does this suffering impact my network and people who don’t know Christ? How does this suffering impact those who do know Christ and are watching me go through it? How does this impact God reproducing the life of Christ in me?
Frank, a few years later, helped me work through my process and he was in a wheelchair by then. He later, by the way, it’s just an amazing story, he later finished up school, became a wrestling coach; he had over twenty different operations, bedsores, everything imaginable. Actually, later got married. He now teaches chemistry in a high school and he’s a wrestling coach.
And here’s what I’ll tell you about Frank. He can roll out of that chair and he can’t move anything but you do not want to mess with him if you’re one of his wrestling boys.
And I remember whining about how angry I was about his situation, and this is one of those priceless moments… He looked at me, and he said, “Chip, I can say this honestly. I was a pretty cultural Christian and I was just starting to grow a little in our Bible study,” he said, “but what has happened to me, what it has done in my relationship with Jesus… I would rather be in this chair, where I’m at with Him now, than I would be where I was without Him.”
And I don’t know about you but I can hardly fathom that. But isn’t that really a guy going, “Yeah, do I want my legs? For sure.” But even with your legs what do you get? Maybe seventy years? Maybe eighty? Maybe a shade more versus what are you going to do with forever?
See, the apostle Paul is always asking, “What are you going to do with forever? And why are you here? And what’s your role in why you’re here?”
The third principle here is that until we understand our role in His plan, from verses 7 through 9, we’ll never, we’ll forever be frustrated with God’s failure to fulfill our plans.
Let me say that again. Until you understand your role, in other words, what are you supposed to do? What are you called to do? What are you gifted to do? What’s your mission? What’s your calling? Why did He put you on the earth?
I mean, more than just a generic, love people, share the gospel when I can, get a good job, raise a good family. Okay, yeah.
Now, specifically. What are you here for? What assignment has your name on it? What Paul was saying is, “I understood my role as a servant. Mine was very,” he said what? “I’m to preach and I’m to make plain this administration of this mystery.”
God’s agenda, not my personal peace, comfort, happiness, or prosperity is what I need to understand, and then I need to understand what’s my role in His plan rather than how do I convince God to fulfill my plan?
And, boy, that’s a game changing truth. And, by the way, I think it’s a journey. I think as you mature He shows you, shows you, shows you.
I can remember a really difficult, very, very difficult five or six years ago in my life trying to discover what my role is. And you know when you hit your late forties and fifties you think you’re supposed to have this figured out.
And I knew, in general, I knew I was supposed to teach God’s Word but what context, and where, and how did it work? And I found myself in a situation where I wasn’t teaching God’s Word anymore but I was in ministry, and I was in all these budget meetings, and my joy was gone but all the issues of reputation and what it would look like if I left, and my ego and insecurities, and fears, and I took a big step of faith but finding that big step of faith… it was dark. I mean it was just dark.
And all I knew was, “Okay, I’m supposed to teach your Word, but God, I don’t know exactly where. I don’t know exactly how.” And then it got real clear, “It needs to be, it needs to be in a local church.” And then, “It needs to be in a local church that’s hostile to the gospel. It needs to be in a local church…”
But it was a two-year journey. And part of that, I’ll never forget. And I won’t embarrass him, but there was a fellow in Atlanta who wasn’t an official life coach, but he just became a brother and a life coach.
And you know how when you process everything you look at everything negatively and it just, parts of it seem very unfair and… I was learning to own my stuff. And I’ll never forget the whole paradigm shift.
We were sitting in a, it was a country club that he belongs to. And he said, “Well, Chip, did you ever just consider that God has given you the gift to suffer? Did you ever consider that maybe you’re trying to figure out why this, why that, and you’re supposed to do this. Did you ever just consider that maybe He just entrusted to you the grace gift of suffering right now for Jesus’ sake?”
And I remember I didn’t have a good answer. But in my mind I’m thinking, “I will guarantee you, I’ve thought a lot, but that thought has never crossed my mind.” And then, thank God for Scripture memory, Philippians 1:27 comes to my mind, “For it has been granted to you not only to believe in Him but also to suffer for His sake experiencing the same conflict, which you saw and now see to be in me.”
And I just remember thinking, “I don’t have to figure it all out, and I don’t have to figure out what blame is me, or I don’t have to find someone else, or some circumstance, and it was just like, “You know what? What if there are times where…” isn’t that what Paul said? “I got to suffer for Your glory. I went through this for You.”
I don’t see him saying, “Well, the Romans had seventy-six percent on this, and I think the Judaizers were about twenty-three point four percent a part of this. I probably had a bad attitude, I’ll take one or two percent of the problem and…”
I mean, that’s how my mind works. I’m always trying to figure out and control, and he just said, “I’m suffering.” What if that very thing that you’re begging God to take away is the very thing that’s the greatest gift for what you need right now?
And instead of resisting, and pulling away, and asking, and struggling, and blaming, and trying to figure it all out, you moved into it, and said, “God, this isn’t fair, it’s evil, it may have spiritual attack, it sure has some bad people that have done really harmful things to me, and I want to be a Joseph or a Josephine, and I want to lean into this, and I’m going to lean into a sovereign, good, loving God and I don’t get it all, but I’m going to trust that You mean it for good, and so I’m going to get up today, and I’m going to praise You, and I’m going to choose to rejoice.
“And I’m going to get up today and I’m going to refuse to be a victim. And I’m going to get up today, I’m going to understand… so what’s Your role for me in this big world that would really honor You?” And you start asking those questions, it changes your whole perspective.
Finally, until we grasp the extraordinary privilege and the eternal impact of suffering for good, we will squander the greatest opportunities God will ever provide us to glorify His name and commune with His heart.
Sometimes these difficult times are this window where God could mold your heart, and allow you to hear His voice, and to build character and endurance, and create a capacity that could never happen otherwise.
You know, it’s that old picture of the piece of coal: that it takes all that time, and all that pressure, and that coal over time, becomes a diamond.