Practice #2: Do Life In Community, Part 2

Could I tell you that when you do life with other Christians, I don't mean go to meetings. I don't even mean just have a small group. I mean when you do life with other Christians and you sacrifice and you're authentic and you're real and you love one another and you care for one another.

When you invite people outside of Christ into that world, I will tell you, it's one of the most powerful apologetics in all the world. In fact, Jesus would say in John 13, after He had washed their feet, He says, "A new commandment I've given to you, that you love one another." How? "In the same way that I loved you. Sacrificial, other-centered, costly. By this, that kind of love, the world will know that the Father sent Me."

Well, let's get down to brass tacks and talk about, how do you do this?

How do you live life in community?

Okay, step number one, go into training daily to develop a servant's attitude in every relational environment, okay?

Here's what I want you to know. This isn't something like, Oh, I'm just going to get in a group and we're all going to share deeply and it's going to happen overnight. This begins with you and this begins with me, always first with a mindset, and the mindset is that, “have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus.” Well, what was His attitude? He considered others more important than Himself.

If you want to have great community, it starts with a mindset and an identity, and by the way, this is hard. Don't get me wrong. You have to have the Spirit of God living in you for this to really work, but here's the mindset. I am second. I am second. I am second in my marriage. I am second in this group. I am second at work. I'm going to be thinking about where are the needs and what's going on?

Now, we all have a role. We all have needs. I'm not saying that you become a doormat, but what I'm saying is most of our mentality, even when we disguise it well as Christians, is life is really about me and my needs and my desires. And we've learned some pretty sophisticated games - I play them and you play them - to appear loving, to appear caring, to do things that are kind but they don't cost us much.

Authentic community begins with going into training.

I've written on cards, "Chip, I want you today to view other people the way Jesus views them. Not by their outward appearance, not by what they have or what they've accomplished, but see them as God sees them. Man looks on the outward appearance. The Lord weighs the heart."

And I read and read it and read it until little by little, I started making progress of looking at someone really rich in the Porsche that pulls up next to me and instead of going, "Boy, I bet that guy's a rich jerk." Not that any of you would ever think a thought like that, or then a Volkswagen van and a guy all tatted up and Rastafarian hair and smoking a little weed in between the light changing and thinking, that guy's out to lunch.

I just began to make up stories - I bet the Lord has really blessed that guy and he's probably one of the most generous Christians, and one of the things he really likes is his sports car. Lord, would You bless him today?

And I had some experiences with people that I thought were really crazy and weird looking, and I remember thinking, Lord, You know something? Wow, I don't know what's going on in that guy's life, but what I know is You love him and he's made in Your image. And so, he dresses differently than me. He's probably looking at me and thinking, you're one of those preppy pastor looking people. And I just started doing that so that I didn't judge people, I didn't put them in a category.

Community begins where we stop looking at people on the outside and asking, "What can I get from them or how can I impress them?" And ask, "What are the needs in their life?" Not just the superficial ones, but the heart needs, the relational needs, and how could you be an instrument and how could I be an instrument to take the love of Christ and the compassion of Christ and the mercy of Christ, to lean in and help them?

The second thing we need to do is you need to start or join a small group that is serious about practicing the “one another” commands in the New Testament.

So, some of you are maybe in a group, but there's a lot of groups that, right, you might watch a little video or you say you're going to do a study and it's still pretty superficial. You need to either start or be in some sort of smaller group where people are serious to say, "You know these one another commands in the New Testament? We want to live these out."

If you're not familiar with them, I put it in my notes and there's a passage next to each one, but I'll just rattle them off. All I want you to do is think about your life, your current relationships, whether you're in a group or not in a group or even family relationships, church, I just want you to think of: Do I practice these? Am I getting to receive these?

We're commanded to be devoted to one another in mutual love, to accept one another, to be kind and compassionate to one another, to forgive one another, to admonish one another, to live in harmony with one another, to bear one another's burdens, to spur one another on, to love in good works and to love one another.

What I can tell you is that can't happen in just a program or a big room. As important as hearing God's Word and worshiping and corporate worship is, that's not authentic community. That's an important part of our walk with God, of learning about Him and growing and being connected and expressing our praise, but you got to have some people that really know you.

Recently, I've been in sort of a transition. For years, I was a senior pastor and with that brought structure. I had the elders in my home every month and we would have a meal together, them and their wives, and there was no agenda. We talked about kids, grandkids, life, whatever, and we were just a big family. A big, big long table and all of us, and it was an hour, hour and a half, just a casual meal.

And then I would take the guys and I would go into the kitchen and my wife would take the ladies and they would go into the living room, and I'm not sure what they did except they never wanted to leave, and they prayed and shared, and I got with these group of men, about six or seven other men, and once a month, it was like we want to be Romans 12 Christians.

"So guys, how are you really doing in your life being surrendered? Or how are you doing separate from the world's values? Or what's your biggest struggle right now? Share with me something where God is speaking to you right now from scripture." And I mean it was raw, it was real. I wasn't Chip the pastor. I was just Chip, a fellow brother with six or seven men that loved me. And we heard about mean painful things and difficult things and things that were in some of our past, and I can tell you is that we wanted to be the kind of small group that we wanted every single person in the church to get to experience, because I know you can't impart what you don't possess.

And so, I wanted to make sure that we experienced that, but that was so rich and it was so good. And then God called me to be full-time at Living on the Edge, and that meant that those elders weren't coming to my house, and so the structure was gone.

And I have good relationships at work and I have a couple of good buddies here and I've got some board members at Living on the Edge that we're so close, but a lot of it's on Zoom. And I have to tell you, I got to the point where I just looked at my wife and said, "I'm preaching about authentic community and I don't have it."

I'm glad I've got good relationships and I can do a one-on-one with this guy, or I play golf with this one board member who's godly and we share what's going on, so I've got it in pieces. I got to the point, I literally, I went to church and I just started looking around, and there's one guy I kind of knew. I said, "Are you in a group with anybody?" All guys in their forties. And he goes, "No." I said, "Do you want to be in a discipleship group with me?"

And [the] guy said, "I'll pray about it, yeah." And so, I asked another guy, then I asked another guy. Pretty soon, we tried to get them together and their schedules are nuts, like your schedule, I mean nuts.

So finally, it was, "Okay, 6:00 AM Monday mornings, let's meet." And so, we met and we decided that we'd study Romans 12 since I already know that chapter. And then I said, "Hey guys, you may think that this is like I want to disciple you all. Okay, that's not it. I want to learn. Can I tell you guys something? I really need you. Guys, I've just got to tell you, I need a place where I can just be Chip and I can be in the scriptures and we can do life together."

And I have to tell you, it has brought life to my soul. There's no substitute for it. I can't admonish one another. I can't be devoted to one another. I can't open my heart and share my challenges unless I have people in my life like that, and that is God's major design for each and every one of us.

And so, I want to do a little test. I'm going to do something. Are you ready? This is mildly threatening, but when I think of the most concise, practical picture of authentic community, I think of Romans 12, verses 9 through 13, and it's really a picture of authentic community.

And as you study it carefully, it basically boils down to the real you shows up, and you meet real needs, and you meet them for the right reason, and you do it with the right resources.

So, what I want to do, I just want to read, it's only four little verses. I'm going to read those verses, and I just want to ask you a question about each one. Because here's my heart's desire. If you’re not experiencing authentic community, biblical community, you're not experiencing the love God wants to give you, and you're not giving the love that other people need.

So, let me go ahead and read Romans 12, verses nine through 13. Listen carefully. "Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil, cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love, giving preference to one another in honor. Not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality."

Now lean back and let me just ask you a question that flows out of this short passage in Romans 12, verses 9 through 13. Are you ready?

Question number one, is the real me showing up in my relationships or a projection of what I want others to think?

How about you? In other words, are you authentic and are you pure?

Question number two, am I meeting real needs in people's lives or only superficial ones?

In other words, am I really devoted to others and do I put others first? These are penetrating, aren't they?

The third question is, am I doing kind acts for Jesus or to please people and gain the approval of others?

So, in your relationships, what are your motives and are you passionate about caring about people are kind of passive?

Then the final question is, am I serving others in my strength or in the power of the Holy Spirit?

So, do I have an upward focus? In the midst of it all, I'm rejoicing in hope, devoted to prayer, drawing from God to give to others. Or do I have an inward focus? I'm burned out, I'm overwhelmed. I keep giving myself away. And if you give yourself away out of your strength and your resources, you will be overwhelmed.

I don't ask those questions. I know they're penetrating and some of the answers are probably like, "Oh, Chip, I wish I would've not had this time with you. Those were so painful." But here's what I want you to know. I only ask those questions because they reveal how much you and I get distracted, how deep in your soul and my soul, we can find ourselves isolated and lonely. It doesn't mean we're not going to church, it doesn't mean we're not even in a group here or there. It doesn't mean we're not reading the Bible some and praying on the run. That's not the Christian life and that's not the kind of follower of Jesus that transforms the world.

We can't do this life alone. I can't and you can't. All the commands in the New Testament are in what's called the second person plural. It's kind of the way the Texans talk. If it's an individual, they say, "Hey, can you come over here?" And if there's a group, they say, "Hey, you all, come over here." You all be devoted to one another. You all love one another. You all live in harmony. You all be concerned for each other. You all bear one another's burdens.

Real authentic community is costly. Wow, it's costly. It requires a radical commitment to make time, to meet regularly, and to go deep. The only reason we started at six o'clock Monday morning is because I couldn't get a time anywhere in their schedule or mine where we could get together, and that means those guys are getting up at 4:30 or 5:00 to get ready for work and other things, and then be right here in this office at 6:00 AM.

It demands new levels of honesty. It means you've got to start getting more real with people and sharing who you really are, and by the way, the process is messy. Relationships are hurtful. When you start breaking down barriers and sharing some authenticity, you're going to have some people that, guess what? They won't take it well. They may use what you share, or you've already had this happen and you're thinking, "Man, I'm not going to be vulnerable anymore." There's always risk in deep relationships, but the rewards are always greater.

But it is messy, it is hard. People will make mistakes, you'll make mistakes. You have to learn to give grace and to receive grace, but I will tell you, the payoff for community is rich. It is life-giving. It is powerful. It is an amazing testimony, and here's the deal.

When you live a life and you get up and you know that, to use an old phrase, this person and this person and that person, they have my back. They're for me, and it doesn't matter if my job changes, it doesn't matter what other people think. They love me for me, and are you ready? They really know me because I've been honest with them. We're in this together, and I really know them. When you experience that, I will tell you what. You will see God do things in your life and through your life that will absolutely amaze you.

The world is filled with very desperate, lonely people. About 61% of them, six out of 10 people that you walk by each and every day feel isolated and lonely. You can invite them into your world. You can make a difference. You can be in community each and every week, receiving life and giving life.

So, let me ask you, what's your next baby step for you to get into community? I mean, the real thing. And here's the harder question. What do you need to stop in order to create the margin and the time for you to have the kind of relationships that require time.

I would say more than anything else, stopping some of the activity, stopping some of the stuff. People's weekends are just filled with such activity, but so little meaningful, deep connection.

So, let me ask you, who would you like to go deeper with? When you think of a fellow believer and you think, "I'd really like to get to know her or him, or that couple, wouldn't it be great?" Here's a place to start. Why don't you just share a meal together? And in that meal, nothing heavy, just say, "You know, I listened to or I watched a video and it was about being in community, and here are some thoughts. What do you think about that?" And see if God doesn't begin to birth some relationships that allow you to experience life that's really life.