How do I know if I'm really in love?

Love is a Choice

People who are dating or struggling in their marriage often ask the questions: “How do I know if I’m in love?” and “Is this really love?”  

In our culture, we’re taught (through the media, music, movies, etc.) that a person is in love when he or she has good feelings or really connecting with another person. But this isn’t what love is really about. That is emotion; love is deeper.  

By contrast, you know you’re in love when you’re willing to sacrifice for a person. You know you’re in love when you’re willing to endure hardship with a person. You know you’re in love when you’re willing to be sexually faithful to that one person. In other words, love is giving another person what they need the most when they deserve it the least at great personal cost.  

Love is a choice, a sacrifice, and a commitment.  

Emotions and having great connections with your spouse are wonderful things, but when it comes down to the heart of the issue, love is really about a choice, commitment and sacrifice. It’s also about allowing God to give you, inside your heart and life, a love from Him that you can then pass on to others. 

So here’s the game-changer. If you are married and struggling in your relationship, choose to love your spouse today. How? Make a choice to do something that makes a sacrifice for you to meet a need in their life. What’s that one thing? Is it a sacrifice of time, money, or inconvenience? Whatever it is, that one sacrifice will communicate your “I love you,” whether you feel like it or not.  See if God doesn’t show up.