A Biblical Perspective of Sex and Sexuality, Part 1

As Christians, our approach to sex and gender must be marked by grace and truth. It’s got to be marked by grace and truth. One of the things I love about Jesus when He was here, this marked His life. I love how John puts it. He said, “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us,” when God lived here. We have seen His glory; we saw how awesome God is.

And so, when we watch how Jesus interacted with people it gives us some understanding of how we approach these issues. And it’s interesting to me when you read through the gospels, one of the things that was said about Jesus often is that He is friends with sex workers. He’s friends with people who struggle with all these issues. It’s just amazing to me this combination, the holiest person who ever walked on the planet lived in a way that some of the most broken people felt comfortable around Him.

And I love how Jesus, remember when they brought to Him the woman who was caught in adultery? She’s clearly in sexual sin. And the crowd came and they want to stone her, they want to kill her, not because they really desired to; they kind of want to trap Jesus more.

Remember how Jesus dealt with her? I love the combination of grace and truth, that He looked at all of them and He said, “Okay, the first one without sin, go ahead and throw your stone. If you want to condemn her, go ahead if you’re without guilt.” And they all kind of drift away. And then Jesus looks at her and this phrase is so important. He says, “Does no one condemn you?” He says, “I don’t condemn you. Now, go and sin no more.” You feel the combination of the grace and truth?
And it’s important that you get those phrases in the right order, because a lot of people think when it comes to these issues, what God is telling us, “If you’ll go and sin no more, then I won’t condemn you.” If you’ll get your life together, sexually, then there’s no condemnation.

And what you need to hear is in Christ, it starts with no condemnation. That’s what grace is. The grace that is given to a person, “I don’t condemn you,” but – and here’s the other
side of it – in Christ He looks at them and says, “Go and sin no more.” He is willing to call the behavior sin. He is willing to call them out of that life and lifestyle.

See, as much as the pendulum has swung over here when it comes to grace, I think also we are living in an age where the pendulum has gone the other way where we are scared to talk about the truth and we are scared to say it explicitly and we are scared to say what the Bible says about it and we think in a way that’s the loving thing to do and I don’t want to do that.

And, yet, what did Jesus say about the truth? Look how Jesus put it. Jesus said to the Jews who had believed Him, “If you abide in My Word, if you obey Me, you are truly My disciples. You’ll know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

And I think in the Church, we have gotten to the point that we are so scared of saying the wrong thing that we would rather not say anything. And in that fear we have pulled back and we are allowing ourselves but especially the next generation to be discipled in the ideology of the world on these issues.

I am praying, I want to do this in a way that is full of grace. That no matter where you’re coming from, no matter what you’re struggling with, I am so thankful you’re here. Because I think it begins in Jesus no matter where you are. It begins with a God who approaches us with no condemnation. But in the same way, I think the Bible speaks truth.

And hearing that truth, depending on where you are, can be really painful at times. It can be painful, maybe, for your own life or someone you love that is really struggling with these issues and you feel their pain. And we have been so conditioned that as soon as we feel pain, we automatically assume, well, this is painful. What they are saying must be wrong. I don’t want to increase anyone’s pain, but I want you to experience freedom. And Jesus has said explicitly His truth, His Word brings freedom.

And so, as we walk through this, how do we always approach with the grace of God, but how do we speak with the truth that people need to hear? Because Jesus loved us enough that He not only brought truth, He spoke truth.

Let me walk through some principles with you. All humans are designed by God as sexual beings. All of us. Whether you’re married, whether you’re not married, you are a sexual being. It doesn’t mean everybody has sexual activity, but all humans are sexual beings.

When He created us, God created man in His own image, in the image of God, He created him, male and female he created them. This connection with male and female and man and woman from the beginning, they were created in that way. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth.”

Part of their core command is they are supposed to have sex so they can fill the earth with image bearers. They are never going to be able to carry that out unless He created them in a way that they are sexual beings. And not only that, they are designed in a way to be partners together to have dominion over the earth. Dominion, to rule, to shape the planet for God’s glory. And so, both man and woman, male and female, are brought together in that.

Now, as I use those terms, we have separated those in ways when man and woman refers to sex, in our culture today, and male and female refer to gender. We’ll dive into how do we talk about these terms from a biblical mindset, but I’ll just say at the beginning all of us are designed as sexual beings. Now, sometimes we don’t treat anyone other than married people as sexual beings. We talk about sex in church and it’s for married people and the rest of you, well, you just kind of figure it out. And so, part of it is recognizing, no, the Bible speaks to all of us.

As we look at this, the second thing, sex as designed by God is very good. After Adam and Eve are there on that last day of creation as God looked at it He saw it all and He said, “It’s all good.” Not just good, very good. And this is right after Adam and Eve have seen each other for the first time, He has created them.

And so, I just say that because sometimes we don’t say this enough in church. Sex is very good. It’s a very good part of God’s creation. And I say this for young people, God is the one who came up with it. He’s not weirded out by it, He’s not like ashamed of it, it’s not this dirty little secret for Him. He’s like, no, this is core design. This is a core part of it.

And so, as a young person, especially as you start and you go through puberty, you go through life with that and you just suddenly have these desires and this attraction and all that, that’s part of the design that God has made and it’s good. He knows that. He knows this is going to be a powerful force in your life. He knows this is going to be something that according to His design, it doesn’t He has designed all people to get married, but according to His design, even self-control in sexuality is a good thing.

We need to, as a church, as people with young people, with adults, with single adults, that we talk about this in an open way where people are struggling, where they are learning in it because it is such an important part of life. So, I encourage you, that as we talk about it, we learn together. The human body is very important to God. God made bodies. Sometimes we so emphasize the spiritual life we don’t emphasize our human bodies.

Look at the time He spent forming the body. You realize He formed the body before He gave the spirit, before He breathed life into it? Look at it. “The Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into His nostrils the breath of life and the man became a living creature and the Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east and there He put the man whom He had formed.” God literally reaches in the dirt and does a sculpture. He creates a human.

And then out of the man the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall over the man and while he slept He took one of his ribs and closed up the space of flesh and the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, He made into woman.” That word made literally means fashioned. It wasn’t just like, okay, let’s slap something together. It’s like fashioned the woman and brought her to the man.

Now, just think about this for a moment. Everything in creation, all the beauty of creation, all the great things we have seen, all of it He spoke into existence except those who would bear His image. And He cared enough about their bodies that He stops, He literally forms the man. He fashions the woman. At a foundational level, your body matters to God. What you do with your body matters to God.

All of us were made for relationships and companionship. So, when Adam was alone, God looks and everything is good except for one thing. Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him.” I will make a partner – fit means corresponds.

In other words, “I am going to bring a partner to him to bring what he cannot bring. And together they are going to be able to fulfill the command,” remember the command? “Fill the earth and rule the earth.” And you need both of them to do both. And so, He says, “I bring this partnership out of that.” Now, that’s how He fulfilled it with Adam, but in the world today that’s not how He fulfills it with everyone. Not everyone is called to be married. But here’s what I would highlight: None of us were called to be alone.

And why do I say that? Because remember we were created in the image of a relational God. And so, God has always been a relationship. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have always loved each other and known each other. And so, when we are created in His image, there’s a core part of us that longs to love and to be known and to be in relationship. Now, marriage is one way of fulfilling that relational need, but it’s not the only way.

We are the only group on the planet, we are the only organism on the planet that have been united by the Holy Spirit so that relationally we open up our lives, we open up our homes, we create companionship that isn’t just marriage-based. And it’s important for those of us who are in a marriage to look around and go, “How am I doing that? How am I fulfilling that in the way that Christ designed?”

God’s design for sex is for a man and a woman in a lifetime commitment of marriage. Let me say this explicitly; this is God’s design. This is what Scripture teaches.

And you see it from the beginning. When Adam and Eve came together, “Therefore, man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife. And they shall become one flesh.” That “one flesh” connection is talking about sex as a part of that, it’s a core way of consummating that marriage. “The man and his wife were both naked and they were not ashamed.” There’s no shame in it. There’s openness; there’s vulnerability.

Now, some have looked at this and they said, “Well, okay, yeah, of course that was the Garden of Eden. Everything was perfect. Is that still the standard for today?” If you look through the Bible, when Jesus talked about marriage, look how Jesus described it. Because they were talking to Him about divorce. They said, “Can’t we divorce?” Divorce was very prevalent in His day. And so, they said, “Shouldn’t we be free to divorce?”

And Jesus said, “Well, let’s go back to God’s design. But from the beginning of creation,” notice what Jesus is telling us. Hey, why don’t you go back to the first stories, why don’t you go back to how God launched it, why don’t you go back to the original design so you can learn from it?

God made them male and female. So, He is emphasizing it. A marriage is a man and a woman, male and female. “Therefore, man shall leave his father and mother, hold fast to his wife, the two shall become one flesh.” So, He is quoting that verse again. And then He says, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let not man separate.”

So, Jesus even adds to it. He says, “Hey, this is the standard. Learn from the beginning and what God has brought together, you hold fast to that.” And I just say this because you’ll hear a lot of people today when they talk about this, they want to redefine it. And, guys, God said it pretty clearly and explicitly. And He designed sex to be between a man and a woman in that lifetime commitment of marriage.

And as you look at this, and especially how sex is today in our culture and it’s used everywhere, you know, I think of God’s response to what we have done to it. And I think we always picture God mad. I think God is sad if anything, because He knows how beautiful it is, He knows what a gift it is.

Human sexuality was impacted and distorted by sin. We recognize the fall. When sin came into the world it impacted how we treat each other and it impacted our sex lives, it impacted how we think, it impacted for some people their sense of attraction. It impacted identity in different ways. Sin has this distorting effect with it.

Look at it from the very beginning. Right after Adam and Eve committed sin, “Then the eyes of both of them were opened and they knew that they were naked.” That’s the first thing they know about themselves. Isn’t that interesting?

They look at each other and they go, “Woo, I feel vulnerable.” “They sowed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. They heard the sound of the Lord walking in the garden in the cool of the day and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.” They suddenly feel this nakedness, they feel this shame, they feel a need and notice this, and I think it runs true whenever there is sexual sin in our lives, a need to hide from God, to be away from Him.

Notice what God does. “But the Lord God called to the man and said, ‘Where are you?’ He said, ‘I heard the sound of You in the garden and I was afraid,’” there is fear connected, “…because I was naked and I hid myself.” Remember when I told you, these metanarratives, they explain life? Man, does this not describe how all of us respond in different ways when there is sexual sin or we struggle?

And God said to him, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree which I commanded you not to eat?” And here’s one of the things I love about the Bible, the Bible is not shy about talking about sex and sexual sin. I mean, if you start just in Genesis, start at the beginning of Genesis, from this point forward and look how many times sexual sin shows up even in the first twenty-five chapters of Genesis.

Some of you sitting here, maybe you’re struggling with something in your life, and your immediate response is exactly like Adam and Eve. There’s a part of you that is terrified that - if anybody knows this about me - part of you that is ashamed.

And here’s one of the number one lies that the enemy wants you to believe, that God is sitting there just so mad at you, waiting for you to get your act together, waiting for you to clean up your life. And, yet, go back to the first story. What is God doing in that story? He’s looking for them. He goes and finds them. Even in their shame, even in their nakedness, even in their rebellion, even in their sin God is a God who looks for us.

And even in the middle of that, He makes a promise to them that through your seed, through sex, through a baby that will come will be a Savior. And there’s a hope and there’s redemption.