Teach Them to Make Wise Choices, Part 1

We make our choices and then our choices make us. Some of our good choices have resulted in a happy marriage, a great job, and deep personal satisfaction. Some of our poor choices have resulted in destroying a marriage, losing a job, and suffering shame and reproach.

Few things will determine the quality and the fulfillment of your life more than the choices you make for better or for worse.

I have heard someone say that when you boil it all down, you will probably make a half a dozen very major, important choices about God, about future, about relationships, and about how to deal with some difficult things in your life that will determine all of your life. You just basically play out the rest.

In fact, let me give you some time with yourself. I would like you to think as fast as you can about the two best choices you have ever made.

Okay, now, I want to go to the other side. Just what is one choice that you have made that, if you could take this one back, you would take it back? One choice you made in the past that you just thought, Oh my. That was dumb. In fact, that was worse than dumb. That was biblically unwise. In fact, that choice cost me a lot.

And it could be a choice that cost you a lot of money, it could be a choice that cost you a relationship, it could be a choice that, in just a quick moment of time and it was like, it promised a lot of pleasure but it really delivered a lot of pain. Can you think of any?

Now, here is why I want you to get your emotions around that instead of just your head and your heart. In like manner, there are few gifts that you will give to those that are coming behind you, okay? This whole series is about passing on the things that matter most.

And when you think about that person you’re wanting to help grow spiritually, or that child of yours, or that grandchild, or someone in church, or someone who is looking to you and you want to pass on what matters most, few things could be a greater gift than you giving them the skill and the ability to make wise choices.

And so our transferable concept is: Teach them to make wise choices. And what I would like to do now is say, I believe there is a place to start and if I was going to just open the Bible in the middle here and it opened to Proverbs like it did, let me read one verse as a launching point.

It’s not in your notes, here is the wisest man in the world. Past, present, future. And he says, verse 7, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Only fools despise wisdom and discipline.” The fear of the Lord.

And the fear of the Lord is reverential awe, for sure. The fear of the Lord is an emotional. He is awesome and powerful and all-knowing and pure and you are actually afraid. You are afraid not to do life His way. The fear of the Lord, both positively and negatively, part out of admiration and part out of just actual fear, is to say to God, I want to do life Your way, because You have designed it in a way for my good. And, by the way, You are God. Whether it’s for my good or not, You are God and You created me, and You say these things. And I am afraid to do anything other than what the One who created me, and deserves to have rightfully anything He wants, He can have. He made me.

And so, the fear of the Lord. And what I would like to suggest is if we are going to learn to make wise decisions, we need to walk through a theology of holiness.

And I have summarized, I didn’t put all the verses there but I have summarized a theology of holiness. Now, when you hear this word, please do not go to black robes, lit candles, prune-faced people chanting in the dark. Or people who don’t wear makeup ever or don’t play cards. Okay? I’m not talking about external holiness.

Right next to this in your notes, a theology of holiness, put a dash and write the word wholeness. W-H-O-L-E-N-E-S-S. The root word of holiness comes from wholeness. It comes from health.

And so, what does it mean? What is holiness? Let’s walk through it.

First, God is high and holy and the idea of holy means He is totally other. He is not a bigger, better category. He is completely different. He is holy.

God is absolute truth. John 14:6. Jesus came and He said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except by Me.” God is truth.

God’s Word defines absolute truth. You might jot John 17:17, the last prayer of Jesus. “Sanctify them by Your truth. Your Word is truth.” And sanctify, that’s our same root Word for holy. Set them apart, is the idea. Something special. Not something regular.

A theology of holiness includes God’s Law, or morals, that is for our protection. When God lays out these commands, these guardrails, this is not from a prudish God that is against sex or someone that has all these rules to frustrate us and anything that we like to do, He comes up with a command to say, “Don’t do that.” They are for our protection; they are for our boundaries.

Every one of His moral commands, because He is holy, is for your health.

And when you can ever get your arms around, His commands are for my good. That’s why, read Psalm 119. David, despite His struggles and His failures, “His commands are my delight, I rise in the middle of the night, like someone waiting for the dawn, I love His Word.” Why? Because he got it. They weren’t prohibitions. They were the pathway; they were the guardrails to get the highest and the best.

That’s what holiness is about. It’s about wholeness and it’s about health. And it reflects God’s character.

God’s ultimate aim is to make us holy. When you are holy, you are like Jesus. And that is God’s agenda.

The Old Testament roots are we get Exodus chapter 3, verses 5 and 6. Moses sees the bush. God says, “Don’t come any closer; take off your sandals for the place where you’re standing is,” – remember? “holy ground.” Then He said, “‘I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob.’ At this, Moses hid his face because he was afraid to look at God.”

We have lost a generation of people that are afraid to look at God. We are casual with God. We think God is going to wink at stuff. I’ve got a lot of friends in churches all around the country and as we compare notes, I will tell you, the average single person in the average evangelical church, and I’m just going to throw a statistic out, it’s probably higher than this, but the average single person in evangelical churches is sleeping around, about eighty percent of the time.

And people will just look you in the eye and say, “Well, you know, I don’t think God really expects that anymore. Like, eight out of ten commandments, that’s pretty good. Isn’t that an eighty on a test?”

We have really lost the sense of the awesome holiness and purity of God. Here we have a situation with Moses, God says, “Take off your,” – why? “Nothing artificial, man. Wherever I am, it is holy.” You find John meets Jesus, right? Revelation chapter 1? Bam! He’s on his face!

Joshua meets the angel of the Lord. We have lost the sense of God’s transcendence. He is not our buddy. He is approachable, He is immanent, He is loving, He is kind. But He is unapproachable light and purity and holiness.

The biblical profiles are Moses and Stephen. I like the Hebrews passage where it says Moses chose to be mistreated for a time than live in a pagan culture and enjoy the pleasures of Egypt. There is a price tag to be holy.

And Stephen, you have this, when they chose Stephen. Remember Acts chapter 6? “Choose from you men who are full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom.” And the very first name is Stephen. He is a holy man. He is filled with the Holy Spirit and wisdom.

And then chapter 7, what do we have? We have Stephen making this defense and they bring these trumped up charges. And as he is looking up, God gives him a vision of Jesus next to the throne. And you have courage when you’re holy and you have boldness when you’re holy. And you know the Word of God, because He goes through the entire history of Israel when you’re holy.

And then he gets to the end and you have a forgiving heart. “Father, forgive them. Please don’t take this into account.” That’s what a holy life looks like. Not people who dress funny or put, “Praise the Lord!” on the back of their cars or have big, black Bibles.

Holiness is a quality of life that is winsome and loving and Word-centered and deeply caring and morally pure.

The New Testament command is 1 Peter 15 and 16, “But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy,” – in your notes, will you circle the word all? “in all you do. For it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.’”

In all you do. In what you watch. In what you put into your mind. In what comes out of your mouth. In what goes into your mouth. In what you say. In what you think. Be holy in all that you do.

Holiness is not an option. The Scripture says, “Without holiness, no one will see the Lord.” Holiness is not external religious activity. Holiness is a condition of the heart, a purity of the mind that expresses itself in a righteous lifestyle.

And then notice the great promise: “Blessed are the pure in heart,” because what do they get? They see God.

And at the end of the day, that’s God’s heart’s desire. And you’ll never get greater reward. Just see God, know Him for who He is.

And, by the way, that’s how transformation occurs. 1 John will tell us we don’t know exactly what we are going to be like, but this is what we know, 1 John 3:2: When we see Him, we will be like Him.

And Paul would say in 2 Corinthians 3 when he is talking about the difference between the Old and the New Covenant. He goes, “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed,” process, “from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.”

And his point is, as we get these glimpses of who God really is, how loving He is, how holy He is, how pure He is. You know what? And when you have that attitude it’s not like I get, Okay, read a chapter a day, keep the devil away. Or, I read five chapters. I feel really holy today. God, what do you think? Can I get a little star on the refrigerator up there? I prayed for fifteen point seven minutes. I fasted for two whole days.

Those are all performance mentalities. I read because I love You. Would You speak to me? I fasted because I am not clear and I don’t know what to do and I want to eliminate the distractions. I get no brownie points. I’m not better than anyone else.

I just need to pull away from the world because I need to hear Your voice. Will You speak to me? I love You.

I want to sing to God because He is my Savior in what He has done, and I forget that. That is what holiness looks like.

And then you begin to pass on and give to others what God has given to you. On the application, it says, “I”. I would like you, if you would be so bold, to write your name in there, commit to learn how to discern good from evil. That’s the heart of becoming holy.

See, the problem is we have a real, real hard time in our day. You are living in a mirage, in a mirage of lies and appearances. And Paul would pray, we’ll look at it a little bit later in Philippians 1. He would pray that God would grant them the ability to discern good from evil.

So how do you pass this on? Let’s talk about maybe some practical ways – how do we pass this on so they can make wise decisions?

Number one: Encourage them to saturate their mind with truth. The Bible, great books, videos. You have in your notes, this is one of my favorite passages, Romans chapter 8, verses 5 through 8. It says, “Those who live according to the flesh have their mind set on the flesh; but those who live according to the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace. The sinful mind is hostile toward God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. And those who are controlled by the sinful nature or the flesh cannot please God.”

All I want you to get is: Where do you set your mind? Where do you set your mind? First and foremost, we have to model this but, boy, we have got to pass on to our kids, to those that we are discipling, to our grandkids, to the groups that we hang out with. I’ll tell you what, I have been in small groups where the Bible is never opened, truth is never discussed but we know a lot about what’s on sale, what sport teams are doing different; we have a good social time.

And I think that social interaction is great. It just doesn’t transform your life. The great majority, I don’t do counseling, per se. And I was kind of joking, but when I get done speaking at different places, there’s usually a line, a long line of people, and they come up and tell me stuff, I don’t know why, but I’m thinking, I would never tell anybody that.

And they tell me all kinds of really painful, horrendous, difficult – marriages, homosexual affairs, drugs, addicts, on and on and on and on. And many, very sincere believers who never dreamed this could happen to them.

And I, despite what I told you about myself, when I first meet people, I ask God for great compassion and I listen attentively, and I ask questions, and I try to discover what is going on. But I have learned, over the years, I always ask one question: “Would you tell me, I know you have been a believer so long, I know you never thought this could happen to you, and that someone like you could never have an affair and you’re a leader in the church, etc., etc. Would you tell me, right now, a little bit about your personal time in God’s Word?”

And I know, I almost know the answer a hundred percent of the time. And I will tell you, it goes like this, “Well, I used to but… Well, I go to church regularly.” “I didn’t ask you if you went to church regularly.” “Well, I listen to Christian radio now and then.” “Well, yeah, great. God bless, some of those guys are okay. I asked you about your personal time in God’s Word, where God speaks to you and it’s a heart relationship.”

You’ve got to pass that on. The great majority of Christians do not spend personal time in God’s Word and, therefore, are powerless to break the bonds of sin and are duped and seduced because they are not armed with the truth. And we’ve got to model that first and then you’ve got to pass that on.

And it’s got to be passed on, not as a club. You know? “Okay, kids! Get around the table right now! It’s breakfast time! Or supper time! All right. Nathaniel? Open to Proverbs chapter 1. It’s the first day of the month, isn’t it? Read it! Now! Ethel? Shut up. Listen to your brother. He’s reading God’s Word!”

I can tell you where these kids are going to be at about eighteen. It will not be in church. Or much to do with God.

But in winsome ways, early on, I remember my wife. She has read to all of our kids. They became readers. And she read all the Chronicles of Narnia and then she read other things and she read to them even at times where they got old enough it would have been embarrassing so we didn’t talk about it. Especially the boys.

And then I was much more concerned, little by little by little, I met with my kids and taught them how to spend some time with God and Theresa and I, we would just try and share the love and what was happening in our struggles and our journey, but with God.

And I wanted my kids far more to begin to meet with God on their own than us have perfunctory family devotions, although we met and did that.

And I talk to my kids now, and my one son who is a pastor, I said, “Well, Ryan, what was it that really clicked for you in terms of, how did God lead you that way?” And I’m thinking, Maybe it’s one of my great messages, I’m sure. But this is my kids.

He said, “Well, Dad, it’s really pretty easy. I don’t know how many times when you’re a little kid and you get up and go to the bathroom and you think it’s the middle of the night because it’s five o’clock and for you it’s the middle of the night and there is a light on and mom is on her knees praying. Or she is sitting in the chair with a cup of coffee, reading God’s Word. I just grew up watching you and mom. That’s what mattered. And when we drove in the car and we were in the back seat and you guys were just, it wasn’t, it didn’t sound spiritual. It just sounded like you were doing life.”

That’s what they catch. And so, you have to create when they are little and then when they are older.

I will tell you, I didn’t pay my kids to do the chores, remember we talked about? I paid them for extra stuff. I paid them to read books. You say, “That’s bribing them.” Absolutely. I did it on purpose.

When my kids got in high school and now they were getting all these worldviews. James Sire, okay, “Tell you what. I’ll give you ten bucks to read that and write me a report on it. Here’s a thicker one. I’ll give you fifteen bucks to read that and then we’ll discuss it.” Hey, they wanted money, I wanted truth to get in their mind. But you’ve got to saturate their mind with truth. Encourage that.