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How to Become an Awesome Encourager, Part 1

From the series Lift

Want to be more fulfilled? Experience more joy? Live with less guilt and more freedom? Chip shares how you can become the person you’ve always longed to become by following a few life changing steps.

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Message Transcript

What we’re going to find is that in verses 12 to 15 there are certain attitudes that build great churches, and then in verses 16 through the rest of the chapter, there are certain attitudes that build great Christians.

And so let’s begin. Let’s read together and become great encouragers, by learning some attitudes that God wants us to have.

“Now we ask you brothers,” the apostle Paul writes, “to respect those who work hard among you who are over you,” literally, preside over you, or are managers over you, “in the Lord and who admonish you.” It means, “correct you.” “Hold them in highest regard in love because of their work and live in peace with each other.”

As you look at these couple verses, you notice that first there is a word to leaders. And before you click off and say, “Well, I’m not an elder, I’m not on staff,” I want you to know, if there’s anybody at all who looks to you to be the influencer in their life: Anybody at work, any kids at home, any friends, anyone in a small group, anyone in any kind of ministry that really looks to you, then you’re a leader. So this is for you.

And the Bible says there are attitudes that leaders need to have. Did you see the key words here? They’re assumed here.

But did you notice, they work hard, they lead well, and they admonish wisely? The word for, “work hard,” literally means, “to toil to the point of exhaustion.” And I believe, as leaders in God’s Church, we need to give it our best shot. I didn’t grow up in a church that believed in the Bible. But you know my first inclination about church, in general, was? People give it their leftover stuff. They give it their worn out clothes, their leftover time, and any little, extra money or energy they might happen to have.

And one thing I knew early on is, one, I didn’t want to be associated with that church, for a lot of reasons, because the people didn’t live what they said. But beyond that, there was just a climate, it’s like, “This is good enough for God.”

Hey, leaders, I want you to know that God wants us to work hard and how do you do that? By leading well. It means to provide oversight. It’s used in the New Testament both for elders in formal positions and for informal positions. That means leaders are well prepared, well planned, prayed up, come on time, and are ready to roll.

It means that whatever sphere of influence in the body of Christ, you take it seriously. You say, “Oh, God, this is a stewardship. Someone is looking to find out what You are like through me.” And it also means that you don’t just do the task, you care for the people.

You see, when you lead well, not only does the task get done in a way that honors God, but the people doing the task are fed and encouraged.

Third thing here is: Leaders are to admonish wisely. It means, literally, to reprove or to correct, to put in someone’s mind. It was a military term that when, you know, you see all these guys that are walking in rank and one guy is kind of out of step? It’s that guy. It’s saying, “Hey, bud, get back in line.”

When another believer’s attitudes or behavior is out of line with the will of God and you know it will hurt them, or it will hurt relationships, or it will hurt the cause of Christ, it says, “Leaders, admonish them. Correct them.”

Now, overbearingly? No. Lording it over them? Never. Wisely, lovingly, caring enough to confront. Those are the attitudes that make for great churches when leaders work hard, lead well, and admonish wisely. But notice, that’s not all. There’s a word about leaders. In fact, the real flow of this passage has to do with how us, as a congregation, respond to leaders, whether it’s formal or informal. Let’s read that passage again with new eyes.

This time, let’s read it asking the question, “How should we respond to leaders? Verse 12, “Now we ask you, brothers,” you might circle the words, “to respect those who work hard among you who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in highest regard,” you might circle that, “in love because of their work.” And then, “Live in peace with each other,” and you might circle the words, “live in peace.”

See, the problem then, remember the people who decided that the Lord was coming back, like, maybe that night and so they quit their day job and said the Church is such a loving group of people that they became moochers and loafers?

Well, the leaders had to correct that and they did the wise thing. They said, “Hey, get a job. Jesus is coming back but the way to prepare for that is you have a good testimony, and you work better than anybody else at your job, so you have something to share with all the rest of people rather than mooching off everyone else.”

Well, when the leaders had to do that, probably part of that didn’t go over real well. And so, notice the first thing is we’re to respect them. Literally, the word isn’t “respect,” it’s, “you’re to know them or acknowledge them.” It can mean “respect or appreciation,” but in this context it probably has the idea, “Hey, you need to acknowledge that they’re the leaders. God appointed them.”

Second, we’re to esteem them. Only used here in the New Testament. It means to highly, highly esteem. It’s a triple compound type verb that has the idea of saying, “You need to recognize the people that God has put in charge of His Church as the right people at the right time at the right place for His glory and you need to esteem them as such.”

We need to highly esteem that person that gives you your child when you go pick him up. That person who set up three or four hours earlier. The musicians. The…Why? So we could worship. So that you, like I, could shut my eyes when we sang that last song and I thought, “God, when I think of the weekend that I’ve had, You’re great. But I could never express that the way they expressed it for me. And just to get to sing along with them.” See, I think we need to esteem those, encourage those people that lead us.

And then, finally, it’s to be at peace with them. Literally, the phrase means, “no schisms, no divisions.” This one is a two-way street. The congregation is to submit to God’s leadership and obey God’s Word. And the leaders, notice, are to lead sensitively. You know, leaders never are to run roughshod over people, telling people, “You ought to do this and you ought to do this and this is the deal.”

Live in peace, the idea is there’s unity. And my observation about both Scripture and churches, where there is the sense of God’s presence and power, is there’s unity. And it is something worth guarding.

Can you imagine what happens in the life of a church when leaders say, “I’m not giving what’s left over to God. I’m giving my best to God. I’m going to come prayed up, I’m going to come working hard, I’m going to plan ahead, I’m going to lead well, and I’m going to admonish and care enough to confront people when need be.”

And when a church says, “I’m going to respect that kind of leadership, at every level, and I’m going to esteem that kind of leadership, and I’m going to do whatever it takes, on my part, to live at peace,” and the leadership at every level says, “I’m going to do my part to be at peace,” you know what happens? You got power rolling around. You got the presence of God. It’s disunity that so kills the work of God in so many places.

Well, he doesn’t end there. He’s given a word to us, to leaders, and a word to leaders about us. Now notice, he shifts, in verses 14 and 15, and this is a word for everybody. This is for you and me, and notice the phrase, “And we urge you, brothers.”

Now notice, he’s going to give us four quick verbs to address to how to encourage four different groups of people. It says, “Then we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, and be patient with everyone.”

And then he’s going to give us a way to be patient with everyone. Verse 15, “Make sure that no one pays back wrong for wrong or evil for evil but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.” You might circle the little word “try” because in our translation it comes out kind of milquetoast. You know, try.

You know, people say, “I’ll try to be there.” That means they’re either going to be late or they’re not coming. Right? “Well, I’ll try to make it.” You know? I always tell them, “Look, are you coming or not?” You know? “If you can’t, that’s okay. But don’t try to come because if you try to come, you’ll come like I try to come. That means, ‘I want you to know, I’d sort of like to be there but I probably won’t.’”

This word is translated elsewhere in the New Testament, “to persecute.” It means to vigorously pursue. He’s saying, “There’s four things to do. You need to warn a certain group, you encourage a certain group, you support a different group, you be patient with everyone.” And then he says, “In this key area of, it’s hardest to be patient when people do you wrong, don’t do wrong back but instead,” literally, it’s, “follow the good.”

It’s vigorously pursue, you try as in go after being friendly, and kind, and loving, in a way that just makes people scratch their head. “After the way we treated you negatively like that, you’re being kind, and friendly, and you’re pursuing us?” And you know what they do? Pretty soon they start thinking, “Now that’s weird.” And then they say, “Is there anyone in history that’s ever been like this? Let me think. Jesus! That’s the one! Yeah!”

When people did Him wrong, He loved them. See, we’re almost never more like Christ than when we give good, in return for evil.

If you wanted to summarize this, let’s look at the key phrases: Warn the idle, that’s our same word for admonish. And the “idle” here means unruly, disorderly, unbecoming behavior. See, it’s not the leader’s job, it’s not the leader’s job, to make sure people stay in line. It’s the Church’s job to see that the body, one for another…

It’s caring enough to confront. It’s not getting in the car with a close friend, or with a mate, after you’ve had an experience with another couple at their home, or out somewhere, or with a fellow single person, and shaking your head to your friend and saying, “Boy, man, are they really on the wrong path. They keep spending money like that, they’re going to be in a ditch. Boy, they keep treating their kids like that, boy, you know, and Bob, you know, we’ve seen that happen before. Yeah, that’s right. Those kids are going to turn out like jerks. In fact, they got a good start on it right now. You know, if that guy keeps treating his wife with that kind of insensitivity, they’re going to have problems.”

And you know what? Do you realize how many of those conversations happen in cars, and in restaurants, about the person that’s not there? You know what the Bible says? Warn them! Warn them! You warn them.

I’ll never forget the first time, we went over to dinner years and years ago in Texas, and this guy was, he had one of those jobs that you should be perfectionistic. I mean, your life is in his hands. But he carried that over into every area.

And we ate dinner and it was the most rigid, legalistic atmosphere, and I remember turning to my wife and said, “Wow, those, man, those kids are in trouble.” I mean, I couldn’t stand to be around that guy for four hours let alone twenty-four hours a day. And he had a good heart, he really loved God, he really thought he was doing well. But, I mean, it was just unbearable.

Well, when his daughter ran away from home and when his son got involved in some things… You know what though? I never went to him face to face. I had one of those conversations in the car with my wife saying, “Boy, man, I’ll tell you what, they keep that up, they’re in trouble.”

And I decided, after that, I don’t keep it to myself anymore. You may not like me but if I see something in your life, I’m going to tell you. And I’m going to tell you, Lord willing, in the right attitude, and the right way, at the right time, because I love you.

And, by the way, you see something in mine, don’t do me any favors and tell your friend. When my car hits the spiritual wall and there’s fallout and pain and damage, I would have liked someone to say, “Hey, by the way, curve up ahead.”

Second, we’re to encourage the timid. And this has the idea of comfort, the word “timid” means, literally, “the fainthearted,” or a person with a small soul. They’re the people that just don’t have the courage to make the next step.

You know, they’d like to get in the Bible study but if someone doesn’t call them and ask them to come, they won’t go. They’d like to get involved in ministry and they really have a lot but if someone doesn’t give them the little nudge, they won’t go. They’re the person that is just ready to become a Christian but they just need a little nudge.

You know who that person is to give them the nudge? It’s you! It’s you! We’re to warn the idle, or the disorderly, but we need to, we need to comfort, we need to spur on, we need to encourage the timid.

And some people, some of the timid people that I never dreamed, they have all these gifts stored up. But it takes someone like you to nudge them. Who comes to your mind? Who in your family? Who in your ministry? Who at your work? Who do you know that you realize has great potential but they need a nudge? How could you do it?

Third is we need to help the weak.

The word for “help” is a very interesting New Testament word. It means to hold on to someone, or to cleave to a person, so that they don’t fall down. Basically, the weak are people that are, that are unstable. Have you ever seen someone that has twisted their ankle, or the terrain is unlevel and they need help to get from the curb to the car. Or they need help to get from the bottom of the stairs to the top of the stairs. Have you ever seen them?

And what do you have to do? It’s real simple, isn’t it? You walk up and you either put your arm out, or if you’ll put your arm right underneath theirs, all they need is just a little stability but you have to touch them, don’t you? And you just hold on to their arm, and with you they make it from the curb to the car. Without you, they fall flat on their face.

There are people in this room, today, spiritually, that all they need is someone to look them in the eye when you walk out that door. Someone in the next Bible study, someone at the class that you go to, someone that God is bringing to your mind while I’m speaking, and you know what they need? They need you to hold them, to just give them a little support. They’re unstable.

But they’ve got a good heart, they’re trying. But they’ve tried and failed, and tried and failed, and tried and failed. Guess what they’re doing now. They’re not trying anymore. They need you, they need me to support them.

The final thing is we’re to be patient with all men - everybody. You ever heard the phrase, “That guy is really short-tempered”? This word is the opposite of that. You’d say, if you knew this word you’d say, “Man, that guy is really long-tempered.” I’ve not said that about many people.

You know, you say, “That guy really blows his stack fast.” We’d say, “This guy’s got a long fuse.” This word means we’re patient. We make allowances for others. This word means you don’t give up on people quickly. It means that after you tell them once, you tell them again. After they blow it for the second time, you tell them a third. After they blow it a third you say, “What is it about this you’re not getting and how can I help you be successful?” Not, “Get with the program or your out, bud.”

It’s, “Patient with all men.” And when is it the most difficult to be patient? It’s when people do you in, isn’t it? Well, how does he say? “Make sure that no one, make sure that you,” not the leadership. You! Me! Church of God! “Make sure no one pays back evil for evil.

You want to jot down Romans chapter 12 verse 17 and following. It will develop that very clearly exactly what to do. It says, “Never take your own revenge, beloved, leave room for the wrath of God, ‘Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.’ If your enemy is hungry,” what should you do? Feed him. “If he is thirsty, give him a drink; in so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.”

Near ancient Eastern picture of what happens when a person has a change of heart or mind. “Never be overcome with evil but overcome evil with good.” Good is powerful. Good is powerful in relationships and when you give good, when people have given you evil, you can only do it by grace. But it has an indelible impact on the lives of others.

And so what we have here are some attitudes that build phenomenal churches. You have a group of leaders who work hard, lead well, and admonish wisely. And you have a group of congregational people who say, in our heart of hearts, “We’re going to respect them, esteem them, and be at peace with them.”

And then you have a whole church that says, “You know, people that are stepping outside the boundaries that are unhealthy for them, we’re going to warn them. We care enough to confront in this place.”

Those people that are a little timid and need a little boost, we’ll give them a boost. Those people that are weak and need support, we’ll support them. And those people that drive us crazy, we’ll be patient. We will hang in there. In our own strength? No way. In the power of God? You bet.

Those kind of attitudes build the kind of church that you’d have to bar the doors so that we get a seat this week. Because when you, and when I, can love people that way and one another, it’s contagious.

And you will find the great principle of our Lord is this: “Blessed are those who give, more than those who receive.”