Pursue Great People, Part 1

There is a phrase that you hear a lot, and I think it’s true. And the phrase is, “More is caught than taught.” In other words, you can go to a class, and you can hear this or that, but you really catch more than actually is taught. And I’d like to suggest that that’s true. It’s true when you’re young, and it’s true when you’re old.

The principle I want you to get is this timeless axiom: We become most like those we admire, and those with whom we interact most frequently. Take it to the bank. You will be like whoever you admire, and whoever you hang with.

The practice number three, if you want to move from good to great in God’s eyes: You long for your heart to be more tender. You want to be more godly. You want to pray the way that we talked about. You want your motives to be what God wants them to be. You long to become, in God’s eyes, the kind of person, with the kind of courage and boldness, who would say, Lord, I’d like to sit at Your right hand. I want to be a great Christian.

Number three: Pursue great people. Pursue. I didn’t say “hang around.” Go after them. Find a great Christian, and pursue them. Hang out with them. The key text for this one is Proverbs 13:20: “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” He who walks with a wise man will be wise, but the companion of a fool will suffer harm.

“Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” I want to give you a biblical foundation for pursuing great people.

The first reason is: God’s Word is emphatic about the company that we keep. This isn’t just about wanting to be good. The key word, here: God’s Word is emphatic about the company we keep. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be misled. Bad company corrupts good character.” You put one rotten apple – right? – in a basket with good apples, and the rotting apple will do – what? It’ll rot the others.

Notice what it says in Hebrews 13:7 “Remember your leaders, who spoke the Word of God to you.” First, “Remember.” Then, “Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.” Literally, we get our word mimic. Mimic their faith. The Bible says, get your eye on a godly leader, and imitate, or mimic, not their mannerisms, not their externals – imitate their faith.

Notice what it says in 1 Corinthians 4:15 and 16 – the apostle Paul, writing to the Corinthian church. He says to them, “Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ” – a lot of people that’ll help you, and tell you what to do in your Christian life – “you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father” – how? – “through the gospel. Therefore, I urge you” – same word – “imitate me.”

The apostle Paul knew the most powerful means of discipleship is modeling. Beyond teaching, beyond classes – it’s modeling. When you hang around a person, if you pray with them, you will end up praying like they pray. You will learn to give like they give. You’ll learn to make decisions the way they make decisions. You’ll learn to treat your wife the way they treat their wife. You’ll learn to raise your kids the way they raise their kids. You’ll learn to care about people the way they care about people. You’ll catch it. And the apostle Paul says – and this is strong – “Imitate me. Follow me, as I follow Christ.”

Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Now, I want to make one vital observation, before I go on and talk about: how do you pursue great people?

The observations I’ve put on your teaching handout, it’s that our baggage and our backgrounds demand that we pursue great people. Our baggage and our backgrounds demand that we pursue great people. And we all have baggage, and we all have backgrounds. No one had a perfect parent. Anybody have a perfect parent?

Your parent may have given it their best shot. My dad gave it his best shot. But how do you be a dad, when you didn’t have one after you were thirteen? How do you be a dad, when you’ve killed thousands of people, and you have all kinds of hang-ups, and you don’t know how to deal with your own life, let alone communicate it to your son?

See, there are some wounds and deficits that came from your dad, your mom, my dad, my mom, because they weren’t perfect. But guess what, that’s normal. It’s normal. Unfortunately, some of us focus on that the rest of our lives.

The third observation with this is, we must choose to deal with the damage constructively. And we could spend a lot of time here, and I’m not. All I want to tell you is, there are some people that have been through some very difficult times, and the focus of your heart and your life is always about what was done to you, and what you’re working through. And there’s unresolved shame, and unresolved blame, and unresolved issues.

But you know something? At some point in time, you have to say, Lord, I want to thank You that in Your sovereignty I was in this family, and these good things came out of it. And, Lord, I want to tell You that there are wounds, and deficits, and pains, and I need You to be my Father. I need You to heal me. I need You to restore me. It’s a fallen world.

And you know what? The best thing that’s happened to me, probably, in the last decade, has been to walk a few miles in my parents’ moccasins. To think about, when you hit certain ages, all of a sudden you think, Let’s see, when my dad was about forty, this is how old I was, and this is what I went through and, wow. I think he did a lot better than I thought ten years ago. And, let’s see, now. When I was this age, my dad was forty-eight or fifty, and here are the issues I’m dealing with, and… And you know what? Boy, we had meals together, and they cared about me. And you know something? You know the confidence that I have, the drive that I have, the positive self-image I have? A lot of things were really, really positive, and they all go back to my dad.

My dad and I started a little lawn business when I was eight. My dad helped me deliver papers. And I had a hundred and thirty, a hundred and fifty-paper-route stacked up to the rim in the car when I was about eleven years old. It’s so easy to look at the minuses, and the hurts, and the pains, instead of saying, “I had an imperfect parent, and they gave me these good things. Thank You, Lord, and…

Only the Healer, the Restorer of my soul, God, can ever complete my life. But you know how He does it? Now, sometimes you just read the Word, and the Spirit of God does some deep things in your heart, but you know how God normally heals you? He brings the dad in your life that you didn’t have. He brings the cheerleader into your life that you didn’t have. He brings the sponsor into your life that you really needed. He brings the confidant, or the counselor.

God brings someone into your life that’s been through something, and He takes the Word of God, through the Spirit of God, through the heart of another person, and this person rubs up next to you. And He makes you whole, and me whole, little by little by little, through another person.

And, so, what I’m going to tell you is, you need to pursue great people, first of all, because the Bible is emphatic that the company we keep will determine the kind of people we become, and, second, because we all came from dysfunctional backgrounds. We all have baggage. We all have wounds. It’s normal.

You can either choose to be a victim, or choose to say, “I’m going to grow through it.”

I love Henri Nouwen’s book, The Wounded Healer. It’s when we begin to get forgiveness and healing from God, in our imperfection, that He allows us to pass it on to other people.

Well, let’s get on the really positive side, then. How in the world do we go about developing these kinds of relationships? How do you pursue great people? I don’t know about you, but they just didn’t line up on my door, seven deep, ringing the doorbell: “Hi, I’m a great person, Chip. I’d like to be a sponsor in your life. Oh, okay; you already have one?” “Hi, Chip. I’d like to be a father figure. I know you went through some rough times.” That didn’t happen to me. You’ve got to pursue them. And I’m going to give you a couple ways that I think will be very helpful.

The first is, I think you need to start in the rearview mirror. You ready for that? I think, to pursue great people, start in the rearview mirror, and mentally build what I’m going to call your own personal Mt. Rushmore, of the four or five people who have most positively impacted or influenced your life.

See, what I want you to do, before you think about who you need to go get to help, look in the rearview mirror, and say to yourself, Who are the pivotal people? Maybe one, two, three or four people, maybe five – who have been the most positive, influential? Because you’re going to ask, then: why? And you’ll begin to recognize needs you have in your life. The reason they were influential is, God used them. Some of them may be even unbelievers.

And, so, I’m going to challenge you to build your own Mt. Rushmore. When you do, you’ll recognize the value of people in your life. You’ll see the strategic needs that you have. And then, it will help you determine what kinds of people you ought to pursue. So, are you ready? I’m going to turn this stage into Mt. Rushmore.

Mt. Rushmore has four great faces on it, right? I’m a Christian. I’m adding five.

My first one, over here on the left, etched in stone in my heart and soul, is a guy named Neil Lance, my junior high coach, P.E. teacher. I’ll never forget the first time I met Neil Lance. I was a cocky, insecure, mouthy kid who desperately wanted attention, because he couldn’t figure out what was going on inside.

And I walked into his P.E. class, and I was mouthing around – “Ingram, shut up! Now, give me twenty!” That was my first experience with Neil Lance. And as I was just like this, and then I started to bend down – “Ingram, button it up!” And, like, ten minutes later, I’m still doing this. He never said another word to me. “Get a shower.”

And then, he saw some desire, and over time, he took me in the gym, and he closed the curtain. And this guy could play ball, and he knew that’s where my heart was. And I grew kind of late. So, when I was in seventh grade, I was 4’11”, and then, I shot up to 5’1” in eighth grade. And I wanted to play basketball. This was not looking good. By ninth grade I was 5’4 ½”, and ready to take on the world.

And Coach Lance would come in the gym, and he’d throw me the ball. We’d play one-on-one. He taught me how to play defense, taught me how to play offense, but more than anything else, you know what he taught me? He taught me what a man looked like.

I’ll never forget, as I was going through my insecurity, cocky stage, mouthy part of life –and some of you are looking at me like, Yeah, I can really imagine you like that. Not very hard, is it? Right? And I had shot off my mouth one too many times.
And, remember, some of the guys will appreciate this: Remember the old locker rooms, you’d go in and have the big public shower, and then, on the wall, there would be all the lockers? And then, the coach would have a window, and then he’d have a little office that really smelled like gym shoes?

And he’d get his head out, “Ingram, in here, now!” I walked into his office. “Sit down.” And then, he got his nose right next to my face, and he began to ream into me, and then he said, “Okay, stand up.” And he was so angry, because I had shot off my mouth one more time.

And then, I was just getting ready to leave, and he just – he loved me so much, that he cared. And he took me by the shirt – this was long before you got sued, as schoolteachers. And he grabbed me by the shirt, and then he lifted me up, and put me up against it, and I slid down on the chair.

And he said, “I’m going to tell you something. You’ve got great potential, and your mouth is going to get you in trouble. You could go over to that high school and be a good player, but they’re going to freeze you out, because you’ve got a mouth, and you’re arrogant. You could be somebody, but you know something? Your mouth is going to be the ruin of you. You’re an arrogant jerk. You understand?”

And we built a bond, and I painted houses all the way through college with Neil Lance. And Neil Lance taught me what it meant to be a man, because he confronted me on man issues, and he was strong, and he invested in my life. And he’s in my Mt. Rushmore. And I think, early on, God brought this man into my life so that I would learn. Real men stand up to the truth. Real men speak the truth. Real men are strong. Real men face tough issues, and real men don’t let stuff go under the rug.

The second person on my Mt. Rushmore is a girl named Punky. It’s her almost real name. Her real name’s Harriet, but I shouldn’t say that publicly. And she was my sister, and she’s only about a year and three months older than me. And I had never heard of Campus Crusade for Christ. And we were a religious family, and I went to a church that did not teach the Bible, and no one, as far as I knew, were Christians. But we were religious, went through motions, very hypocritical, and I got turned off by the Church.

But my sister went to this little meeting, a Campus Crusade something, something, and she became a Christian. And she was never preachy, but my sister taught me what it looked like to be a Christian. I can’t tell you that she ever preached a message that I ever remember, but my sister loved me. I would come in with friends, and she would say, “Guys, do you want some sandwiches?” and “Can I get you a Coke?” and “Chip, how did the game go?” And she’s real gullible and I’d say, “Oh, I hit five home runs.” “Oh, Chip, that’s so good!” “Well how did it go?” “I scored forty-two points.” “Oh, Chip, I’m so proud of you.” Unbelievable. And then I would yank her chain, and she, “Oh, okay, Chip, why do you do that?”

And we ended up going through high school where the classes, we got to take some classes together. And I was in that era, in the early seventies, where everyone was doing sopors, and smoking dope, and all the athletes in the Ohio State area. And I had an opportunity to do all that.

And isn’t it interesting? I wasn’t a Christian, didn’t have any big moral reason not to, and I still remember a guy giving me a joint and saying “Do you want this?” and saying, “No.” And I remember, in my mind, I thought, No, what would Punky think? What would Punky think? She was the most loving person. She showed me Jesus. She showed me. She lived it. She’s the kindest person that I’d ever met, and she’s my sister, and my friend. And I later became a Christian because of her testimony.

I want to skip from number one, number two – I want to go right over here to number three in my Mt. Rushmore. And this is the third person in my rearview mirror, a guy named Dave Marshall. And I prayed to receive Christ at a Fellowship of Christian Athletes camp. And I was eighteen years old, had never opened the Bible, and landed on a campus.

And there was a bricklayer, trained by the Navigators. He was what I would call “not cool.” Everyone’s wearing white socks now, but he wore them back then, and it wasn’t cool. And blue collar, strong worker, and he had a little Bible study in his house. He’d been there for three years. This was the fourth year. If the ministry didn’t grow, I learned later, he was going to quit, and go do something else.

But he would lay bricks all day, and open his home at night, and do Bible study with a few students. And after three years, he had four students in the living room. A football player on the football team, was the fullback, and found out I was a Christian. He said, “You’re coming with me.” He was very big, so I went. And I found myself in a living room, with about five or six other people that were not very cool.

And this bricklayer said, “I heard you just became a Christian.” I said, “Yeah, it was this summer.” And he said, “Would you like to learn to study the Bible?” And I looked at him, and I thought, Not with you. Sorry. But then, I thought, I’m a Christian. I don’t know the Bible. I ought to want to study the Bible. He’s offering. So, I said, “Yes.”

And every Tuesday morning, Dave would come, knock on my dorm room. And to my shame, sometimes I pretended I couldn’t hear him, put the pillow over my head. But over time, he got this lazy, arrogant, insecure, young believer, and we went into the little kitchenette, and he taught me how to read the Bible. Then, he taught me how to memorize a few key passages.

And before long, I got involved in a little ministry, and those four or five people ended up two hundred and fifty students in personal Bible study. And, then, Thursday nights, I would go up to Dave’s house and eat dinner. And I would watch, he had three boys, and a girl. And I’d watch his kids, and he went out, every Thursday, on a date with his wife.

And you know what? If Neil Lance taught me what it looked like to be a man, and my sister taught me what it’s like to be a Christian, Dave Marshall taught me what it meant to be a man of God. I learned to treat my wife the way he treated his wife. I learned to stop for people who were broken down on the road, the way Dave always stopped. I learned to discipline my kids, and love my kids, the way Dave did. I learned to get up in the morning and spend time with God, the way Dave did. I learned to deal with crisis – when his wife went in the hospital – the way I saw Dave did. I learned to work the way Dave worked.

See, more really is caught than taught. Who are the people in your Mt. Rushmore?