Recalibrating Your Walk with God

One of the things that I love to do, about my job, is we have staff meetings. We meet as a staff every day and pray, but on Wednesday we have a staff meeting and once, sometimes twice a month or even now and then I’ll get to do a little series.

But what I love most is to just think about our team and what is going on in their life. And especially, you know, when big things are happening in the world and I know they are feeling pressure like I’m feeling pressure. And then if you combine that with, you know, as a ministry, as an organization, you hit some speed bumps and things are a little rocky or maybe key people leave or there is financial pressure or there’s like, “Oh! Great opportunity!” And everyone is working with their hair on fire.

You know, I meet with the Lord in the morning and I listen and you know, Lord, I don’t know what You want to say to our team, but I’m listening. And I’ll kind of close my eyes and God speaks to me.

And what I realize is there is a passage in Scripture that has caused me to recalibrate.

I remember an early crisis. You know, I had only been a Christian maybe, maybe three years and it just felt like the world was falling apart. And I remember reading Psalm 103. And if you’re not familiar, he first talks to himself and he says, “Bless the Lord,” or, “Praise the Lord, O my soul and all my innermost being, praise His holy name.”

And all I want you to get out of it is he is talking to himself. In other words: This is me and I’m going to talk to my soul. My soul, isn’t doing well or it’s confused or it’s hurting or it’s struggling or…

And he’s talking to his own soul. And then in verse 2 he says, “Bless the Lord,” or, “Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not any of His benefits.” And then he lists some benefits that I’ll read in just a minute.

I have been in Psalm 103. I don’t want to exaggerate but, you know, I’ve been a Christian a little over fifty years, I’m going to say maybe fifty, a hundred times when I have felt this: I’ve got to recalibrate, I just, you know, there are changes here and changes there and I need to get centered, I need the Holy Spirit and You, Lord Jesus, to get me aligned.

And so, I said to our staff, “You know, okay, big things are happening in the world. And we are going through some times. I want to meet with you for you.” And so, I actually wrote, “This staff meeting is about your individual life. And it’s about your journey, your family, your walk with God, your struggles, and your insecurities, your fears, and your anxieties, your hopes and dreams.”

And we all consciously and unconsciously are living in a way that deals with some of these things in really positive ways and we’re all actually doing some of these things in very negative and unproductive ways.

And I think about, you know, surviving. But I really think about: How do you thrive in the Christian life?

And one of the things I realized is you constantly have to sort of review, renew, recalibrate. I like that word.

And here’s what I would say to you. When you’re trying to recalibrate, number one is this. It starts with awareness.

Awareness of there’s something bubbling up in your soul. Awareness of what is happening in the world. Awareness what is happening in your family. Awareness of – this is a key one – what season are you in? I mean, what is going on at work? What season is the company in or the organization in? Awareness is really the first step.

And what I have seen the psalmist here do, he says, “Bless the Lord, O my soul.” He says, “Hey, soul.” You know, David also says, you know, “My soul is disquieted within me.” When lots of changes are happening, I think awareness is the first step.

And so, part of what I wanted to share with our staff was: How do you do that?

And so, number one was to be aware.

And then to ask yourself, not just what season are you in? This has been a big one for me, okay? What season are key family members in?

What season is my wife in? I’m looking at her life is way different now. We don’t just have kids, we have grandkids. We don’t just have grandkids, we have some that are twenty-one and some that are five. Where does she feel the pressure?

And then I look at my kids, you know, some of you don’t have ones as old as me but, and my grandkids. What season are they in? What is going on? Do you get it?

All I want you to get is this: It is so easy to get up and do the same thing in the same way all the time and think, You know what? I can’t figure out why what I’m doing right now isn’t producing good results because this is how I have always done it.

And what I wanted to say to our staff was - just pause.

The first step is just become aware of what is going on.

The second thing, and this is, you know, really is going to cause you to dig a little bit deeper, I said to our staff, “Be aware of your own story.” We forget your family of origin, the traumatic events that have happened in your life, your pinnacles of success in the past, the richest relationships, the most painful relationships, where you tend to find your significance apart from Christ, what rhythms and seasons have you been closest to God? What things do you do or when you look back, you’ve done - brings life and energy and vitality?

See, over time, external pressures, internal issues, family relationships, job changes, wars that are happening around the world, economies that shift, it’s like all these arrows are coming at us and what happens is we tend to be oblivious.

And you start to be aware of what is going on inside and be aware of what is happening in this season of your life, that’s when you begin to talk to your own soul and become aware and begin to do the very next thing.

And the very next thing is you need to reflect. Notice he says, “Bless the Lord, O my soul and forget not all of His benefits. Who forgives all your sins, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle.”

And then there’s this kind of commentary as he looks back on – these are the things God has done in my life. He has forgiven, He has healed, He has redeemed, He has empowered, He was encouraged, He has crowned me, He has blessed me, He has satisfied me so that the Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed, this is what God has done, and this is who God is, this is how He works.

And then there’s this, what I call a hinge verse in verse 7. “He made known His ways to Moses, His deeds to the people of Israel.”

And so, you reflect in order to get a good sense of: Where are you right now? You’re aware of your maturity, your life season, your challenges, your struggles, your relationships. And then you start reflecting on what God has done and you reflect on your past and you do it in such a way that it begins to bring clarity to the now, to the changes, to the frustrations, to what is going through in your life.

And so, what I told our team was, “Reflect on the inflection points that have directed your life in ways that have borne good fruit.” And let me say that again. You know, some people are verbal processors and, you know, you need to write it down. For others, you may need to do this with a friend.

But reflect on the inflection points that have directed your life that have borne fruit.

One of the inflection points in my life was recognizing that my loudmouth, my arrogance, my posing, my positioning was rooted in insecurity. I didn’t know why I had to brag, I didn’t know why I cussed the way I did before I was a Christian, I didn’t know why I had to act certain ways in different groups, why I always wanted to impress someone or was afraid someone would see who I really was.

And I didn’t have any theology to speak of and I wasn’t a follower of Jesus. But shortly after becoming a Christian, and the Lord began to reveal Himself to me, of course He’s going to go after pride. God hates pride. But what He helped me see instead of a harsh, mean Father, “You’re proud. Get with it, Ingram. That’s ridiculous,” what I heard was the gentle Spirit of God saying to me, You know, Chip, it's because you’re insecure. It’s because down deep, you’re afraid if you took your mask off and someone saw who you really were, they would reject you. And that was an inflection point.

The second thing I encouraged our staff to do was to reflect on how desperately insecure everyone else is.

You know, I have these little cards. When I make a discovery, I want to keep it. And so, one of my cards I just read them over. I don’t try to memorize them, but you kind of, after years and years and years, I have a little prayer that says, “Lord, would You help me to see other people through Your eyes, not through their external beauty, success, wealth, or accomplishments, but to see them the way You see them?”
And then I put a little verse on the bottom: [1] Samuel, you know 16:7 I think it is, “God sees not as man sees. Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord weighs the heart.”

And so, when you want to recalibrate, when you want to kind of recenter around the Lord, being aware is first and then I think you reflect on these big inflection points.

A big, big inflection point for me was I was twenty-eight years old, and I shared this with our staff. It was when I made my first to-be list.

One of my mentors, Howard Hendricks, we met with him for a lunch for several weeks and we’d have a brown bag and sit in a circle and Prof, I remember he started, he goes, “Gentlemen, most of you around this table are pretty gifted, you really work hard, and your priorities are out of whack because you don’t believe something.”

And I’m, you know, “Okay, Prof, what, what is, what do, what, what do we believe?” Right? He said, “You don’t believe that God really loves you.” And he said, “Here’s what I want you to know. You will never be more loved or less loved than you are at this very minute. There is nothing you can do to get God to love you more and there’s nothing you can do to get Him to love you less.”

And he said, “Now, don’t get me wrong. There is blessing that comes with obedience and there’s consequences, but God’s love will not change.” And then he went over to the board and he wrote the word: Objective - who do you really want to be? If God already loves you and you can’t earn it, who do you really want to be?

And then he wrote the word: Priorities. And then next to that he said, “How badly do you want it? Are you willing to put knowing Him, following Him, pleasing Him ahead of everything else?”

And then third he said, “Schedule - where does it actually show up in your calendar if He is your priority? I mean, what does it look like in your marriage? And I don’t mean what you say, what songs you sing. I mean, in your schedule where it’s like this really matters?”

And then his last word was, “Discipline - are you willing to pay the price to do what needs to be done when you don’t feel like doing it?

And I remember thinking, Wow, God loves me right now as much as He’s ever going to love me. And because of the way I grew up and my family of origin and kind of going through those things I just realized I got loved when I scored a lot of points, I got loved when I got good grades, I got loved when I was obedient. My dad was a Marine. I got loved when I obeyed. I mean, you know…

And I just had transferred that into my relationship with my heavenly Father. And I intellectually knew differently. I intellectually knew He loves me, but my behavior screamed all the time: God loves me when I’m producing.

And I got a napkin out and I thought, Okay, Chip, who do you want to be? Not what do you want to do. Who do you really want to be and are you serious about it? And I wrote down, “I want to be a great man of God.”

And then my second one is, I want to be a great husband. I want to be a godly and great dad. I want to be a great friend. I want to be a great pastor. And I don’t know, I missed out on the great – I want to stay in shape all the days of my life. But that’s what I wrote down.

And then I literally took that little napkin and I got out, I had, it was old, you know, people weren’t using computers and stuff then. It was like one of those Day-Timer-type things. And I thought, If I want to be a great man of God – and I was already spending time with the Lord, but I wrote in when I was going to meet with Him.

And I put everything in my schedule. And then this epiphany hit. If I do all these things to become that person, I don’t have any time to do my to-do list. But I decided that’s what I would do.

And then I had an accidental moment happen in my life. It was really amazing. My kids were not doing their homework like they should. And so, we were going to do an experiment. No TV on school nights. And, I mean, everyone was bored and whining for about two or three days. And then pretty soon, you know, they’re playing the guitar, lifting weights, we were playing basketball in the driveway.

And they, you know, they were small kids so they went to bed pretty early, but it was like, eight-thirty, nine o’clock and, you know, I was used to watching, the news and then going to bed about eleven, eleven-thirty. And, like, it’s nine o’clock and, you know, you can only read so long. And it was like, oh, well, you know, okay, I’ll tell you what. I think I’ll just go to bed. So, it was like, you know, nine-thirty or ten o’clock. I’d go to bed.

Well, I’d wake up at five and got more sleep than normal. And, that happened for a week. And all of a sudden instead of trying to get up and spending time with God it was like I just added two hours to my day. And that became a new pattern.

And all I can tell you is from twenty-eight until today, very imperfectly, one of the biggest inflection points for me has been I’m going to focus on my to-be list first and then my to-do list.

What I found is when I did my to-be list it was, okay, I’m going to have a date with my wife and we are going to talk meaningfully, right after supper, even if it’s only for ten or fifteen minutes.

I am going to have some close friends that I really do life with and then I worked it in so I could work out. And since I loved basketball and didn’t have any injuries back then, man, I’m going to play hoop two or three times a week and stay in great shape and really share my heart with guys.

And then the other was I am going to find churches and pastors that know way more than me that God is doing a great thing through, and I’m just going to keep knocking on their door until someone will talk to me. And if they won’t, then who is the next person?

And I am going to read and I am going to ask God, “How do you become a pastor? How do you become a man of God?” What I learned is this is if you focus on who God wants you to become, your capacity grows.

And so, those extended times with God and blocking times off to do my messages and spending time with my wife, what happened was the depth of our relationship. The capacity began to grow so that as I faced challenges, a different Chip was showing up.

You know, a lot of our staff is all different ages and especially those with young kids and under pressure. I was just trying to help our staff remember that, yes, your job is really important and family is really important and there’s a lot of pressure in your life. But you’ll never get your to-dos done.

So, think about making a to-be list.

And so, as I thought through those things probably the last reflection that I would share with you is I came to reflect on the most challenging things in my past. And whether it was the time we went through cancer with my wife, whether it was a big, big problem with one of my children, whether it was a major ministry failure that I had. And I tried to look back and say to myself, “What have you learned in this journey?” Because part of what I bring to our staff is I’m the oldest guy around, okay? And I don’t want them to have to go through some of the things that I have been through.

But I wrote this down. Actually, looking backward through the lens of God’s sovereignty and purposes, and actively giving thanks to shape my future perspective – here’s what I wanted them to hear – I really don’t know God’s ways or what He is up to.

And I jotted down [Romans] 11:33 to 36. You know, it talks about, “Oh, the wisdom and the knowledge of God, how unsearchable are His ways and His precepts,” or, “His paths are beyond finding out. And who has been a counselor to Him that he should inform? Or who has ever given anything to God that God should pay him back? For from Him and by Him and through Him and for Him is everything.”

Basically, it’s a mystery to the infinite knowledge and power and love of God and how He is orchestrating our lives. Here’s what I wanted them to hear - as I have evaluated my life looking back, some of the most difficult, painful things that I have ever been through that I thought were the worst at the time have been the very things that I would never want to trade that either changed me or set me and my family up for what was so much better.

And so, kind of just getting to the point where, Ahhhh. You can kind of take a deep breath, that everything doesn’t have to work out now, that how your kids are doing right now is not how they are going to be in five or ten or fifteen years. You don’t have to just bite your fingernails. You know, you thought you didn’t get that job, you didn’t get the interview and that didn’t turn out.

And all I’m trying to tell you, and what I was trying to tell our staff is – and I’m not good at this – but lighten up. Get perspective, pause, be still, cease striving, take stock. How am I feeling? What season am I in? What is going on in my life? And then start to reflect.

And then the final thing here is where we all need to go. It’s remembering our theology. Who is God?

Listen to this. “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” Is that how you see God?

See, when I’m trying to recalibrate, what I realize is when my emotions and behavior and anxiety and struggles and frustrations and internal blaming of other people and stuff coming out my mouth, somewhere along the way, who God really is and who I think He is or who I am responding to is not the same.

What’s it like in your life right now to think, God is compassionate. That means He feels with you, He hurts with you, He is merciful, He is not down on you, He gets what is going on in your life.

And not only is He compassionate, it says, “The Lord is compassionate and gracious.” He’s not trying to hold out on you. He is for you, He wants to help you, He loves you. He is slow to anger. I mean, He’s not like, “I’m really upset with you and why don’t you get with the program?” You know, there’s a lot that goes through our mind that is so different than who God really is.

I love this, he goes on to say, “He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.” It’s such a refreshing and freeing thing for those of you that just live under this guilt that, you know, “I messed up,” or, “If I do this and, you know, God is always down on me.”

That’s not, who He is. “As far as the east is from the west, so He has removed our transgressions from us. And as a Father has compassion on His children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.”

Why?

“He knows our frame, He remembers we are dust. As for man, our days are like grass. We flourish, we flower, like a field the wind blows over it, it’s gone. Its place is remembered no more. From everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear Him and His righteousness with their children’s children and with those who keep His covenant and remember to obey His precepts.”

So, all I want to say in our time of just kind of hanging out together is recalibrate.

Really get aware of you, what is going on, what is going on in the world? And become aware of what are the emotions popping up and where are they coming from?

I think the second is we just don’t do enough think time.

Reflect. Reflect on those major inflection points where God showed you things, or on difficult things or great successes and reflect on: What are the things that you were actually doing when you felt close to God? When He was moving in your life?

It’s a longer list, but I literally for our staff, I just talked about memorizing Scripture, spending time with God, doing what I didn’t want to do, just remembering: What are the things that, over time, you actually do? Remember that Revelation passage where they have lost their first love? And Jesus speaking says what?

“Repent, return,” and basically, it’s not quite this word, but “redo the things you used to do.” In other words, just stop. Repent. You’re not doing what is drawing us close together. And Jesus is saying: I love you and I want to be with you and I want to bless you. But, you know, you need to do a one-eighty. And then you need to say, “Hey, Lord, I’m really, really sorry.” And then begin to do the things you used to do.

And, you know, I don’t know about you but I keep this journal and, I get stuck and I’m not feeling very close to God and I’m struggling and I start reading back through the last few weeks, the last few months. And it doesn’t take a whole lot of time to realize, “You know, Lord, I’m not kind of doing some of the things that I have done in the past.”

We all drift. We all get a little undisciplined. And God is not down on us. He loves us, He is for us, and He wants us.