Mind Mold, Part 2

I want us to spend a few minutes just unpacking this connection, this Biblical truth of our life being shaped by our thoughts.

First, let's recognize that our thoughts establish our emotions. Now, that doesn't mean our thoughts are exclusively responsible for our feelings. There are a lot of factors that could be at play. But more than we recognize, our thoughts establish our emotions.

We tend to talk about our emotions as feelings that we don't have any control over. I can't help the way I feel. Or we look at circumstances, situations, we look at people and we say, Well, if this circumstance change, if this person didn't do what they did, then I'd feel differently than I do right now. But what we find is that there's this intricate relationship between how we think about things happening and the feelings we have about those things. So, our thoughts establish our emotions.

Secondly, our thoughts direct our decisions. Turns out that just like our emotions, our decisions are largely determined by what happens in our prefrontal cortex, which is sometimes called the executive center because it's where decisions get made. Our thoughts being molded by the patterns of this world are constantly assigning—subconsciously—assigning benefits and consequences to different actions.

And whether or not you value like, the immediate pleasure and satisfaction, or whether you're consciously thinking about something that will come in the future because of a decision you make, but we all have these neural pathways that much more so than we realize are making certain decisions for us or taking us in the direction that…that we're going.

Thirdly, our thoughts regulate our relationships. There's a term for how our minds interpret what other people say and do. It's called cognitive interpretation.

That if you come and you say something to me, no matter what you meant by what you said, no matter what tone you think you had, how I think about what you said is going to determine our relationship. And we all have like, this constantly happening in our minds where we're…our cognitive interpretation might be constantly negative, in which case we're going to react in a way that's defensive or sensitive or antagonistic, or we might pull away and withdraw. But our thoughts are constantly filtering what other people say and do.

A few years ago, I was having some challenges with some relationships in my life, and I was talking to a friend about it. And he just really challenged my thinking, specifically. And he explained to me that this concept of filling in the gaps. And he basically said, Look, any interaction you have with someone, your mind is going to fill in some gaps, things that you don't really know, but your thoughts will interpret what they say and do, and how your thoughts interpret that, it's filling in the gap.

So, let's say somebody says something, you're offended by it, but let's say there's a context gap. Like, you don't know what led up to that. You don't know what they might have heard. You don't know what's happened during their day. You don't know…you don't know a lot.

And so, how you fill in that context gap is going to determine how that relationship goes. Or maybe there's an information gap, like, what you're hearing is missing some important pieces and how you fill in that information gap is going to have a lot to do with the direction of that relationship.

So, our thoughts are constantly filling in gaps. Do we presume the worst or do we assume the best? Do we give a cynical explanation or a generous explanation? If I pull in the driveway and I see my wife has ordered something else off Amazon that's been delivered to the house, I see a box. My thoughts fill in the gap. I can think to myself, What could possibly be in that box that we need? Like, there have already been a few deliveries this week. Doesn't she care about how we're spending money?

Like, I could think those thoughts. I don't know what's in the box, but my mind could fill in the gaps. Or I can think something different. I can say, Well, you know, I never have to wonder if we're going to have what we need around the house. My wife is much more intentional and thoughtful than me when it comes to spending money. She takes care of so many things that I probably don't even recognize, and I certainly don't always appreciate.

And depending on where my thoughts go, depending on how I interpret that moment, depending on how I fill that gap will determine…will regulate my relationship. It'll determine the course of our connection for the rest of the evening.

So, let me just give you some questions to think about as you process this connection between your thoughts and your relationships. When I make assumptions about someone's intentions, do I assume the best or the worst? Just pay attention to that as you think about your thoughts this week. Do you assume the best or do you assume the worst?

Secondly, when I think about my past with this person, what do I remember? What do I remember? When I look back on our relationship, does my mind think about the things that went wrong or the way they made mistakes or different failures or negative things? Or do I look back and, and think about things that are positive and affirming and praiseworthy?

Question number three: What narrative do I tell myself about this person when I have to fill in the gaps? What's this story that I tend to tell about this person when I'm not sure exactly the context of something? How do I…how do I fill in the gaps with that story.

Number four: our thoughts determine our spiritual growth. Colossians chapter 3, verse 2, “Set your mind on things above. Think about things that are eternal, not on earthly things.”

When we think eternal thoughts, it doesn't just shape our emotions and our decisions and our relationships, it shapes our soul. Like, if I'll think about intentionally God's goodness and his promises and his character, my faith will grow. If I meditate on Scripture as Psalm chapter 1 talks about. David says in Psalm chapter 1 that we are to meditate on God and on his Word.

If I'm doing that, it starts to bear fruit. If I am watering my thoughts with God's Word, then it shapes my soul. But if I'm watering my thoughts with anxious…anxiety, then anxious things grow. If I'm watering thoughts of discontentment, then discontentment flourishes. So, our thoughts, we'll talk more about this next week, determine our spiritual growth.

Let's jump back into Romans 12. Look at verse 2 again, “Don't be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This word ‘transformed’ is the Greek word metamorphoō. It's where we get our word metamorphosis. Butterfly…caterpillar into a butterfly. Something crawling around in the mud to something soaring beautifully through the sky. Like, this is the transformation that takes place when we take our thoughts captive.

What's interesting about this verb ‘be transformed’ is it's in the passive imperative voice, which is kind of weird because it's… Passive imperative, the reason that's unusual is it's passive, meaning that it's something that's done to us. We don't transform ourselves; God transforms us. But it's also imperative, like, you have to do this. And it's just kind of weird to say you have to do something that you can't do.

But this is the partnership that we have with the Holy Spirit, that we align our thoughts with God and with his Word, and when we do, we experience his transforming work. It's also one of the reasons I love the language here, is it takes this whole series and this whole conversation away from our self-help, manifestation, self-improvement, mold, and instead it says, Hey, we're transformed supernaturally. That's God's power that transforms us.

And so, we're going to begin this journey over the next six weeks of taking our thoughts captive, experiencing transformation that can come only from God, and the way I want to challenge you as we start this series is to break the pattern of distraction. If there's one mold of this world that I think keeps us from experiencing the transformation God wants in our lives, it's our constant distraction. We are constantly distracted—more so than ever.

It would be fun—maybe not fun—it’d probably be discouraging to me—to just pay attention or know exactly what some of you are being distracted by right now. Like, right now…like right now, some of you are really distracted by something. I don't know what it is. Maybe you're hungry. Maybe you're watching your clock, and you think, Is he…? Is he about done? Maybe it's the white tennis shoes, and you're like, You never, never trust a man with tennis shoes that white. You can't trust somebody...

Like, I don't know what it is. I just know that our minds are constantly distracted. Like, we have so much vying for our attention. There's 6,000 movies and TV shows on Netflix. That's one of 200 streaming services available. There's 5 million video games waiting to be conquered. There's 9,000,000 apps you can download. The average person spends like 6 hours and 58 minutes on the screens every day.

Some of you are like, There's no way. Check your screen time and then take into consideration when you're tripling up, when you're watching TV, shopping on an iPad, and checking your text messages at the same time. You think it's 10 minutes, that's 30 minutes of time on the screen. It's constant, constant distraction. And so, for us to experience this transformation in our lives, we've got to have more space, more margin to think about our thoughts.

We have to have more space to listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying to us and with… God often speaks in whispers, and we have so much that distracts us. It's Luke chapter 10 when Mary and Martha have Jesus visit their home. And the Bible says Martha was distracted by many good things. She's serving as hospitality. She's preparing food for Jesus, and Jesus says, “Martha, you're worried and upset about many things. You're distracted by many things, but few things are needed. Indeed, only one, and Mary has chosen what is better.”

And so, my prayer for us as a church is that we would break this pattern of distraction so we could connect more deeply with Jesus. We could experience this transformation that we read about in Romans 12. I want to take just three minutes and I want to show you a parable that I wrote. And the reason I want to show you this parable is that when I'm up here just preaching or teaching, if you're like me, when I'm sitting and listening to someone, I'm in a lane of…I'm in the information lane where I'm trying to consume some content, not necessarily a thoughtful processing.

I think one of the reasons Jesus told parables is that the stories invited a different kind of thinking than just receiving information. So, I want to show you this parable, and then I have a challenge for you before we're dismissed.

[Animated video presenting the parable begins to play.]

There was once a loving father who took his young daughter to a spectacular circus. Unlike other fathers, he didn't have to save for the tickets. He actually owned the circus. In fact, he had created everything inside of it. Over the years, it had become much different than he had originally designed, but he was sure she would have a wonderful time and couldn't wait to share the experience with her.

As they approached the massive tent together, neon lights flashed in hypnotic patterns, music pulsed from a dozen different directions, screens of all sizes displayed an endless stream of attractions: Don't miss this! Limited time only! Once in a lifetime experience, they promised. “Stay close to me,” the father said gently as he held tightly to her hand.

But his daughter's eyes were already darting everywhere, consumed by the dazzling displays. “Can I go look at that?” she asked, pointing to the social media spectacular where performers were taking selfies with the visitors. Before waiting for an answer, she was already drifting toward it. The father watched as his daughter raced from attraction to attraction, barely noticing he was no longer beside her.

She dove into the streaming circus, where countless shows played simultaneously on countless screens. She got onto the infinite scroll carousel and she was spun round and round. Her phone buzzed constantly with alerts about new acts starting somewhere in the park. Each notification pulled her in a new direction, always promising something better, something more exciting from the last.

In the FOMO funhouse, mirrors showed her all the other shows that she was missing. She joined the frantic crowds at the instant gratification games, competing desperately for likes and views. The father remained present, watching, waiting. Sometimes she'd catch a glimpse of him in the distance, still standing where she'd left him.

But there was always another attraction calling her name, another notification demanding her attention. But as time passed, a strange emptiness began to grow inside her. Despite experiencing everything the circus had to offer, nothing seemed to satisfy. The likes and the views felt hollow. The endless streams of content left her feeling somehow less content. The constant rush for the next experience left her feeling exhausted and alone.

One quiet moment between the flash and noise of attractions, she heard a small voice inside her asking, Remember when you used to just sit with your father in the backyard? She stopped moving for the first time in what felt like forever. Looking around at the frantic crowd, she suddenly realized what she'd been missing all along.

She turned and walked back through the circus, past all the flashing lights and screaming at screens, until she found him. Her father was sitting on a simple bench; it seemed out of place amongst all the chaos of the circus. Most people rushed past it, too busy with their phones to notice. But he was there, just as he'd always been, waiting patiently with a gentle smile.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered, sitting beside him. “I got so caught up in everything else, I just…I just forgot.” He gently put his arm around her, pulling her close to his side. For the first time since entering the circus, she felt truly at peace. Around them, the frenzy continued, lights flashing, music blaring, crowds rushing from one show to the next. But she had found something better.

Later, as they walked together under the stars, she asked her father why he had let her get so lost in all the distractions. “Sometimes,” he explained, “you have to lose yourself and everything else before you can find what truly matters.”

[Video ends.]

[Music begins to play softly.]

I believe that's where some of you are right now. I think that was the prodigal son story. I think that's the woman at the well story. I think that's the Acts 9 story. It’s losing yourself in something that might be good, it might be bad, but it's not what's best. And before long, you look up and you have scrolled away weeks, months, years of your life.

But just know that your heavenly Father is waiting for you. And so, we want to just over these next six weeks, make space for that. I'm going to give you some challenges, and I'd like to encourage you to pick two of these for the next six weeks. Don't think of this as punishment. Think of this as…this is partnership with the Holy Spirit in your transformation.

So, one way to break this pattern of distraction would be a social media Sabbath. You delete apps, even if it's just for one week, and you replace that with time in Scripture, time in prayer. And a second option would be news detox, where you limit your news to 15 minutes a day and spend extra time meditating on God's Word 15 minutes a day. That includes like, pundits talking about what's happening in the world or podcasts that are focused on current cultural dynamics.

Third is an entertainment fast where you trade your streaming time for maybe some reading or some worship time or conversation with others. Another option would be phone free mornings or the first hour of each day belongs to God, not your device. Each day you say the first hour that belongs to God. The next option is phone-free bedrooms. I'll tell you why I'm smiling in a minute.

Phone-free bedrooms each day you're going to say for the next six weeks, you're not going to have a screen with you in your bedroom would be the one. And then lastly is notification silence where you're just going to turn off all your notifications that are non-essential. If you need help figuring out non-essential, ask some people in your life and they can help you recognize what's non-essential.

The reason I'm smiling is because my wife hadn't heard my sermon until last hour. And then I…I got a text from her, and she's like, “So which two are you choosing?” (Laughter) And so, I was processing that while I was going through the list with you, knowing that when I get home that I'm going to make sure to…to give her two…my two options as well.

But can I just encourage you to break the pattern of this world, and you can choose something different if you want, but just intentionally pay attention to the mold and let's do some things to break free from it these next six weeks. So, we can take our thoughts captive, we can find freedom, we can experience the transformation that God promises us in Romans 12. Let me pray.

God, thank You that You are a loving Father who even in the busyness of this world and in our constant distracted state, You don't leave, and You wait for us patiently. And so, I pray God that You would allow us the humility and the courage to recognize how some of our thinking is just really distracted these days. And that You would give us just the intentionality to follow through on this, to break free from some of the patterns of this world.

To not just say, we're just going to do what we've always been doing. We're not going to just follow on the path that everybody else seems to be on, but we're going to do some things different. So, would You help us do that as a church community these next six weeks. That we would learn to take every thought captive and submit them to You, and find the life that You really have in mind for us. It’s in Jesus’s name we pray. Amen.